Death and denial

It always seems unexpected somehow. Even when you really DO know it's coming.
I knew when I took my dog to the vets, the chances of getting to bring him back were almost zero. He was very old and very ill.
That's why I took him to the vets after all.
It still seemed so abrupt, so sudden, and driving home without him felt wrong.
For days afterwords, I got these sensations out of nowhere like I'd forgotten him somewhere. Id feel panic, as though I needed to go pick him up and 'save him', protect him.
A second later Id come to my senses.
I didnt expect losing a dog to hurt this much.
Now I look at my other dog, a fourteen year old GSD, and I KNOW its coming. And I don't think I can handle it.

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Sidewinder · 36-40, M

I'm told that there are 5 stages of grief.

Denial, being the first, next comes bargaining, then anger, then depression and finally acceptance.

Some go through all five sequentially, while some, once they've passed the denial stage, keep going back and forth between anger, bargaining and depression before finally reaching acceptance.