How do you decide when to go to a visitation of someone who passed?

I would go. If it’s a friend you truly care about, go.

A close friend of mine’s mother passed recently. I hadn’t seen his mom in a long time, or a lot of other people I knew would be there. It was awkward, I had to go by myself…but I went to show support for my friend. I’m really glad I did, because it meant a lot to him and it has really strengthened our friendship that had drifted a little in the years since I moved.

When my mom passed, I remember every friend who showed up there for me. I’ll never forget it.

It will truly mean a lot to your friend, and they will never forget it.

I don’t go to those. Not after my moms

I usually convince myself not to go with the realization that they won't be coming to mine either.

When they ask for me. 😌

My mother's mother was known county wide for crashing funerals for the after reception, this was back in the early 80's. I lost track of how many times I'd hear the deceased's family ask who we were and then politely be asked to leave while in line at the potlucks, it was super embarassing as a kid.

The general rule of ettiquite is that unless you knew the deceased personally, do not go.