I made a decision to stop being affected by minor stresses that life throws my way. Of course I feel a little sad and frustrated at times but I just allow myself to feel it, give it a name and then I move on. Problems don't feel as big that way. 😊
Im tired of being tested,but im not sure that i have a "breaking point" i was taught how to ebdure survive andvptodper. I can do without i know how to survive outdoors. There will always be returnsbles to gather i can survive on a loaf of bread a week and 1lb of meat so thats sbout $10.50 . 14$ if i want mayonaisse. My breaking point was reached twice already but i came back stronger with a better plan. Now youd have to kill me to truly break me. Thats happened 3 times already too; so. Then i rely on family.
I passed my breaking point long ago and am now simply just broken. I'm not now or have been in a really long time - Where Life Is Good. I'm not any number of Bad Days Away From Giving Up - because that's not an option with 3 grandsons and a daughter that struggles. I'm not Halfway Between anything at all.
I hold no hope. I've given up on people and all of my dreams. I've silenced my inner want for better or anything close to good.
I spend my wishes more carefully as I wish for a way out that will leave me blameless. Something akin to a house fire that I can run into and die as I save someone better than me. Or even just save anyone at all and at my funeral nobody calls me a fool or a villain.
It comes in waves doesn't it, and the more you do nothing, the worse it gets. Keep yourself busy with something you enjoy, concentrate on that and not being defeatist.