Greetings ladies and gentlemen. How are you feeling on this last day of Summer. In the US it is anyway. I want to know are you single right now Some say in this era being single is best. Some say relationships are dead. Serious long term ones that is. Forget marriage. It's way too complicated and too compromising nowadays. And you cannot trust anyone. What do you think. I say if the shoe fits, then wear it. Are you single or taken.
Single, I think the single life is working for me right now more than it did during studying. It'd be nice to have a partner while sitting at home studying all day and take my mind off of things. But now as I'm working there's more to take into consideration... Would she move in with me where I live so I can stay close to work? How would we spend time when I only have like 5 hours after work? And if she'd be around my age or older, would she want to have kids really quick? I'm not ready for kids or any more responsibilities 🤔 Still I want a relationship.
Second marriage. I got married on the beach on Nantucket two summers ago.
I prefer long term relationships or marriage. I’m just much happier with a great woman in my life. Personally, I feel like it completes me. Plus, life is so much more fun with a partner in crime.
@Poppies Yes, it's not easy. I think (way back when you and I did chat) you read my 'about me'. The 'glue' in a marriage/relationship is more than just sex, it's all the fun, the caring, the giving and the sharing that have accumulated in our minds over the years. Small changes and compromises that allow us to continue with grace and, if necessary, forgiveness. I really don't understand the immediate "You cheated! Here are the divorce papers." attitude that some (seemingly most) couples seem to operate by (and, yes, there is a place for that action); however, conversation, accommodation, reassurance and love (yes, it can still be there), need to be expressed and needs and explanations must be heard. We come up to 50 years married next summer.
Single. I'm still way too vulnerable and conflicted about my personal and professional standing. Yet, I like the concept of a relationship. I wish it felt more in reach for me. I'm not ready to seriously act on that wish though because it seems beyond my capabilities.
@Zonuss Congratulations are due!! I just replied to @Poppiesin a message above.... It's amazing (totally in awe) that society (and religions) expect young people to make the wedding vows of total commitment to one person for your respective lifetimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people should have 'roving eyes' for extra-marital partners: But the word "LOVE" is weighted to include respect, compassion, caring, nurturing, support and many more nuanced attributes that young people commit to but don't yet understand. It is an irresponsible demand by society. Yes: individuals willingly do this and it is admirable, but I recall being 'guided' to include words in my vows that I knew were expected but that I (in retrospect) did not wish to 'vow' to do. So, I'm suggesting that you and your 'to-be spouse' have an OPEN conversation to include the expectations and responsibilities you are WILLING to extend to each other and VOW to them - the officiant and your parents and your friends and your enemies should not have any influence on either of you when you are planning those vows. Also, why not give yourselves a period of 'marriage' - perhaps 30, 40 or 50 years (?) and reassess your vows at the end of that time? The other week we were in church and some acquaintances to us hit on their 20th anniversary: One of the partners 'surprised' the other by setting up beforehand with the minister to renew their wedding vows before the whole congregation. WOW! how could she do that??? I mean - to ask, demand, expect and then wait for the appropriate response??? That was unloving and even cruel AND it was not REQUIRED! Bottom line: Be gentle with each other and WORK to have a marriage so that you are both happy but know that 'things' change and need to be changed. GOOD LUCK!
