Can you do the splits?

They can skip the ambulance and call the coroner.

I can do them

I tend to doubt it, although I still could a few years ago. Since neither of my four-legged buddies would be likely to call an ambulance if I tried now, it would be best if I didn't.

only once when I slipped on the ice. can' imagine wanting to do one for no reason

Now I know why I have a split personality

Grab the phone, let's see.

Not purposely

I'm actually working on it, doing stretches every day

I can do the splits. Not on purpose and the paramedics will have to help me to the hospital but yes I can do the splits.

When I played first base a million years ago I could. You have to stretch as far as possible for close plays

Not an ambulance, a hearse.
I would make a wish first.

I'd probably need an undertaker if I tried...

Vdo is enough to switch the thought.

The banana splits

Not even close!

I think I can...Hold my beer and watch this.

I cannot, never ever

I'd definitely tear a hip flexor if I tried that