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Living to long can be a burden

We visit an aged care home regularly to visit people that don’t get visitors. I have been talking to a lady who is 97. She never seems to be very happy even though she’s in great health for her age. She said to me today “I’ve been here way to long” I asked her what she meant and she said “I’ve outlived my siblings, husband and children, I hope today is my last day. I didn’t know what to say, I just sat there. Can’t even hold her hand because of the glass window between us. I’ve never felt so useless in my life. I don’t know what to say next time I visit her, it’s so so sad 😕😢
4meAndyou · F
Some people who are very elderly are subject to depression if they have outlived all of their friends and family and seldom have visitors in long term care facilities. They don't get invited out, they don't get to go out into nature to see beautiful things, and they don't even get to eat Chinese take out or pizza. They feel useless, and feel as though they are not needed by anyone.

I worked in a nursing home for less than 2 years, and I knew a woman there who was 99 years old, smart as a whip, and who read the newspaper every day.

But you also have to realize that some people are never happy, no matter how long or short their lives, because they only think about themselves. It's a never ending inward spiral of thinking negative thoughts.

There is very little that can be done, except perhaps to bring in a puppy or baby animal of some sort...or to donate videos of puppies and kittens.

People who are extremely depressed will also benefit from a donation of an ipod with recordings of music that was popular when they were in their late teens or early twenties. In her case, she would probably like music from the 1940's, like the Andrews sisters and the big bands.
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@4meAndyou I don’t think it’s self pity in her case I think she’s just so lonely. Thank you for the tips though, I will be able to find an iPod for her. I think the isolation because of the virus has pushed her over the edge
LUVELACE · T
I think we should start to think of ways to cull the modern population at 30 yrs old,everyone under that age is safe,over it you become pig feed,hence it will help the planet,save econimies,increase fertilizer production,increase crops,reduce housing,irradicate hospitals, That way everybody knows exactly how long they have to live,and then folks might pay attention to life.
ninjavu · 51-55, M
@LUVELACE @Pfuzylogic And Logan's Run!
Pfuzylogic · M
@ninjavu I see you know your 70s science fiction!
ninjavu · 51-55, M
@Pfuzylogic Not necessarily that well, but I was an impressionable youngster when I watched that show.
Pfuzylogic · M
She doesn’t get her own visitors and opens up to you her most honest personal feelings.
What a privilege!
She must have memories all the way back to the Great Depression, World War 2 and listening to the radio before TV was invented. I would have so many questions for her about happier times
Pfuzylogic · M
@ChloeYoung
She would make an incredible history teacher. Wow what a privilege to share with her and to have her open up about her life. I am sure she values your company! She might even know of some hidden treasure! 😇
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@Pfuzylogic She would, you can tell that she’s very lonely
Pfuzylogic · M
@ChloeYoung
Wouldn’t it be cool If she shared her history with more than one if it was cool with social distance needs now.
ninjavu · 51-55, M
I like my life the way it is now, although that wasn't always the case, but I can tell you that I no longer have the dream to live to 100 that I had when I was a kid.

I can understand how this lady feels, but I'm sorry that you felt useless. You're doing a good thing to volunteer to go and visit them. You'll learn much by talking to old people, including what you've just learned from this lady. The fact that she's talking to you means there probably *is* something she'd like to talk about, but you just haven't found it yet. Be patient with her. 🤗
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@ninjavu I talk to her from the other side of a glass screen. The last time we visited I said hi Mable... cuddles, and I got a little smile 😊
ninjavu · 51-55, M
@ChloeYoung Aww, sweet. 😊
SW-User
I’ve never thought that old age was going to be much fun....
SW-User
I’m still fit and active. I’m only 63 which may seem old to you but you won’t think it is so much when you get there.lol. 80s and more is when it gets really hard I would think...@ChloeYoung
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@SW-User Yup I can’t imagine being 63 little own being in my 80s. I’m yet to finish school and start my working life. It’s good to hear you’re still fit and active
SW-User
No at your age 63 seems ancient but to me it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Looking on the bright side, perhaps 83 won’t be so bad 🤷‍♂️ I think that a lot depends in how healthy we manage to stay. Good to talk to you xx@ChloeYoung
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
At least she has your visits to look forward to.
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@Thevy29 I feel it doesn’t mean anything to her anymore 😕
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
@ChloeYoung It will mean more to her then she'll let on.
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@Thevy29 I hope so, my guardian says at least you’re proving a distraction for a little while
Ian123 · 61-69, M
Don’t worry, there’s nothing really you can say. Just go and see her and talk normally, that’s what she needs. What you’re doing is precious to her. 🤗
Ian123 · 61-69, M
@ChloeYoung A very good idea, that’s all she needs a bit of company and someone to talk to 🤗 Hope you are ok, things getting a bit better in the U.K. although we’ve had a lot of deaths. They are talking about some children going back to school although there’s a lot of opposition to it 😀
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@Ian123 Same here, we’re going back to school in a couple of weeks. I have been lucky cause my schooling hasn’t suffered
Ian123 · 61-69, M
@ChloeYoung Thats good, I don’t think the children will be back fully till September. Some parts of the country are better virus wise. The north where they have the larger cities is not so good as the south where I live. Must be the sea air 😀
in10RjFox · M
Without a purpose or hold, living can itself get boring. Even mundane jobs like counting cash or managing a store or some game can do wonders to some.
ChloeYoung · 22-25, F
@in10RjFox I’m sure it would, it’s so sad
QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M
aww that's soo sad sorry to hear that

 
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