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Ugly girls have it easy?

I don't mean ugly offensively- whilst I do believe that beauty can be subjective in off chances, I think there's a general concensus on what's considered beautiful, such as the golden ratio. Pretty girls get attention from men more, generally speaking. But the men who approach pretty women are much more likely to be confident. You can obviously get confident nice guys- but I think generally decent guys who aren't big headed will be hesitant to go up to a girl due to feeling intimidated etc. I feel like the types of guys who make a move on a pretty girl are only looking to get it on. This may be due to the stereotype that pretty girls 'don't have a personality' (i can't count the amount of movies where the pretty girl is either mean or seductive). Looks don't determine your personality. Beauty means nothing. The media wants to constantly tell girls they need to look good, that they're worth more if they're pretty, because the beauty industry wouldn't survive otherwise. How can you know if a guy genuinely likes you (love), or if he likes you for your looks (lust)? Looks fade, and surely to be loved for your mind is what bonds you and a partner together, even when you're old and grey. It kinda bugs me when someone's like 'wow, you're more than just a pretty face' or 'you're different/special' because it really confirms how powerful stereotypes about pretty women are, and it's hard to trust people this way, because they act shocked that you have a brain, like they only talked to you for the purpose of your looks because they thought that's all you had to offer. Sorry for the ranting, just thought about this and wanted to get it out 😂 so 'ugly' girls you shouldn't ever feel bad about your looks- you'll have a deep intimate connection with someone who really likes you and when he falls in love with your mind you'll become pretty in his eyes😊
blindbob · 41-45
actually you've got this backward. men tend to think ugly girls are desperate so they try out all their weird sexual fantasies on them but still refuse to acknowledge them in public.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
@blindbob: breaking up with your girlfriend for another girl isn't self serving? Hmm I don't know. Because someone might have the brain to realise that social status is bullshit, you shouldn't choose someone because they make you look good.
blindbob · 41-45
@Anongirl: i agree with you that the social status stuff is bullshit. you should be brave enough to be with who you want to be with, but we don't exist in a vacuum. society is so twisted that it re-programs people not to even realize that they've been brainwashed.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
@blindbob: oh right 😮 I see where you were getting at now that's interesting
SW-User
well to be honest. ive always thought pretty girls were shallow they were brought up on having so much attention and lets face it. if youre attractive you are looking for physical attraction. everyone does that. to me if youre more attractive youre going to get what you want. theres more doors open to you, more opportunities. both have hardships you get more douchebags if you are pretty more guys trying to seek your attention, a lot of the wrong guys trying to get your attention. more likely to get stalked. then you have the stereotypes like she must be a whore or unintelligent. the ugly girls arent going to get what they want as they dont get to choose or get the attention that someone more physically attractive have not as many doors will be open to them. but you know what if someone truly loved someone its not physical its the emotional its the similarities or differences or personality that they like.
SW-User
idk i see more of the prettier ones who seem to be more narcissistic. or in more sexy poses. yeah part we dont see the less attractive women doing as much ive known average women who dont post as much because they dont like what they look like. its just when you are more comfortable about yourself youll do those kind of things.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
I disagree. I think when you're less comfortable with yourself you'll look for attention. If you felt comfortable with yourself, why would you want reassurance in the form of likes that you're pretty.
SW-User
because people like to seek attention. my beautiful cousins do it all the time. some less comfortable girls might do it to try to get attention but a lot dont they become introverts not attention seeking.
SW-User
I don't think one has it easier than the other. Just different hardships.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Yeah I think you might be right
blindbob · 41-45
even when you watch dating shows, you can see that people are willing to give attractive people more chances. if you are ugly, people treat you like you're lucky they even looked at you. and i'm not just talking about ugly and beautiful in simplistic terms, basically anyone who falls out of the social norm of what is considered beautiful. there are men creeping on Craigslist for every fetish (BBW, interracial, mature) because they have to go undercover about what they're really attracted to. if he's attracted to large women, there's such a stigma that he chases after slim women while secretly desiring BBW. the secretiveness makes it get twisted and become pathological instead of just normal attraction.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Yeah, I don't disagree with that.
Myzery · 41-45, F
So, how do I have it easier, exactly? 🤔
Someone may prefer my brain to my face someday, but as it is I am 35 and haven't been on a date yet. 😂

But also, you wouldn't believe how nasty people can be to you simply because they believe that ugly women have no value at all.
There are way more of them than you might think.
SW-User
What comes to mind for me is:
- attractive women getting jobs over ugly women with the same credentials (especially prevalent in some Asian countries, including China and South Korea)
- ugly women rejecting men and being told "well, who else is going to want you?"
- men pushing their fetishes on less attractive women/sexually harassing them (refer to the last point)
- general nastiness toward them in online communities
- higher expectations in terms of intelligence and transferable skills
- just generally being avoided by people more often than outgoing, attractive people

I honestly don't think conventionally attractive women have it worse. Both are kinda shitty sure, but one is slightly more immediately traumatizing.
SW-User
@Aiyana: yep. totally agree.
Myzery · 41-45, F
@Aiyana: That too. I couldn't get a job for the longest time.
All of what you said is so true. Sadly. Not like I was given a say in the matter. Lol
popmol · 26-30, M
i'm a litle afaid to talk wiht the more beautiful girls that i can tell you :p but the les popular and a bit less good looking i like talking to cause they are always nice to me :) not beautiful myself and i'm very shy but no i woudn't never make contact with those girls :p
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Well that's exactly what I'm talking about. You talk to the less popular/less good looking girls because you assume they're nice.
popmol · 26-30, M
no i don't assume they aren't like you aren't beautiful enopugh for me haha :p its a barrier around those popular girls and those less popular are more beautiful i think i like them more but no one likes them cause they aren't popular :p
Cinnamon · 31-35, F
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Thanks!:)
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Good comment. It's also good to remember that as women get older, it evens out. Beauty fades. Other qualities become more important in the long run. And all women (and men,too) are weakened by a belief in stereotypes.
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Oh I see😊
thats very deep
nicely written
youprobablydontknowme · 26-30, F
Lol thanks :)
@Anongirl: ur so welcome
Tminus6453 · M
Good analysis
Fernie · F
18-21 year olds are SO blockable
SW-User
SW-User
tl;dr ugly girls have it easier than me because idk if a guy actually loves me or just wants to fuck
SW-User
@Aiyana: probably just wants to fuck

 
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