I get the impression I'm ugly

I've seen how women look at me, and if they don't already know me, it's a look of revulsion. My own mother calls me standing up straight "threatening." I don't think cutting women out of my life is an answer, but then there doesn't seem to be a good answer. I do wonder if I'd get these reactions if I was actually good-looking, though. Women who I do know who I've asked about this just tell me there's nothing wrong with me, but I can hear their voice change when they think they're telling me what they think I want to hear - it's like it breaks or wavers a little, and goes slightly higher like 'customer service voice' which just tells me there is something wrong with me that they just won't tell me about.

I am aware that I'm both severely overthinking this and spiraling into catastrophising. I just want someone to love me 😢

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WillaKissing · 56-60, M

Dan, I know what you mean from the way I have chosen to dress and look I hear women tell me all the time I will find the right woman that will love me like I am as Willa, but I know that is a white lie just so the woman feels like she has not upset me. I get it, but I stick to my life and how I want to live it making myself happy and complete.

I pray that a woman comes along that will change your world for you.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@WillaKissing people always say that but it never seems to materialise

HoeBag · 46-50, F

@WillaKissing

I stick to my life and how I want to live it making myself happy and complete.

That is true, we need to live for ourselves. And also, a trans woman be be his or her OWN G/F. :D No need to put up with someone else's bull.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@HoeBag Very true indeed, but it would be nice to date a woman I did not know so well as myself too! Heck maybe I could get a returned kiss that way! LOL

AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F

Maybe they are just choosing their words carefully. Everything is not about looks. You are so much more than looks. i am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone you just have to find each other.

SmoKin · M

Absolutely nothing repulsive about you Dan. I feel like we’ve known each other superficially for many years and you’ve always come over as sweet and genuine and kind and creative. Love yourself x

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@SmoKin thanks. But I'm also 5'4 and have the proportions of a blob and don't look super friendly, so people raely go deep enough to know me like that

SmoKin · M

@KiwiDan I look weird too..but if people assume stuff from how I look they’re not for me regardless. Hold tight ok xxx

HoeBag · 46-50, F

Look Dan, relationships are not all they are cracked up to be.

Yeah at first it is great because lovey dovey, good morning texts, excitement etc.
But then soon after, the BS sets in. Insecurities, arguments, people start acting different, we get tired of the person, s3xual incompatibilities, and once things end, there is regret.

Of course the other person has some ex that refuses to get out of the picture so there is constant worry about that ex wanting to try to get back together.

FoxyGoddess · 51-55, F

Imma gonna stop you right there.

My bestest friend in Australia was born with a severe cleft pallet. He has has multiple surgeries to fix it. He talks slightly weird because of it. He is a huge, hulking monster of a man. If you met him in a dark alley, you'd be certain you were dead for just existing in the same space.

I love love my bestest friend. If he and I lived closer together, we'd be a happy couple. He knows parts of me that no one else knows and i love him to the end of the earth.

So if women aren't finding you attractive, they aren't women worth being with. Period.

Also, just a fun fact, I know what I know about Warhammer because my bestest friend is a fan and has told me all the lore.

romell · 51-55, M

Just walk on life is full of surprises ..character mannerisms is more important than looks the one who truly values it will comeby

Reject · 31-35, M

Women will never tell the truth when addressing your looks with words. Their actions will be much more honest and if you see no interest in the things they do or don’t do for you, then that will be your answer. That being said…

A handsome man with a good personality may not ever have a real relationship.

A handsome man with a bad personality will never have a real relationship.

An ugly man with a good personality will only have real relationships.

An ugly man with bad personality may not ever know a relationship, especially not a real one.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@Reject are you saying I'm ugly and have a bad personality

Reject · 31-35, M

@KiwiDan I don’t know you well enough to say something like that. The point was that looks aren’t going to help with getting a real relationship.

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