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Just A Thought On Femininity.....

...from this lil ol' T-Girl/Trans or whatever you fancy calling me here.

For some, I gather, they have this whole thing about wearing ladies underwear and masturbating. For underwear, please insert (now, don't be naughty!) any form of fetish on clothing/footwear. Fine. Whatever. It's what you enjoy, then go for it. Not for me though, sweetie.

For others it's all about being subservient to other males - the so-called beta male - and to strong females. Again, nice but that doesn't do it for me either.

For some it's all 'bout the makeup and the hair, and whilst that is true to a degree - one does have to pass, right? - I don't think it makes up the big picture.

Then there's sex. The perception is, from people that I have chatted to, that T-Gurls are all randy degenerates. Could be true, I dunno. Could be just the stereotype.

My thoughts have always been much more deeper. Indeed, feeling a little lost/out of place/anxious (delete as appropriate) of being the male self. Just having no peace of mind; of worry and confusion. Then, finally, putting some of the pieces together to find the path (the quest?!?) to find what makes me happy. Femininity is more, I think, about a state of mind - I'd say 50% - and less with the outside, peripheral stuff.

Sure, hormones, electrolysis, makeup, clothing, deportment lessons, speech lessons, hair dye all have their part to play but I feel it's about that inner calm, that confidence in oneself (that might be a tad fragile at times) that makes the individual a female and feminine.

Sex? Fine, but it's not the reason that I put on my face and clothing and go to work as a woman, y'know? It has to be something more. Something substantial.

So, my thoughts. Your thoughts?

😘

Cass x
CharlesRomsey · 61-69, M
To understand the human mind as to how we feel, how we think, and how we act has kept many cleverer people than I flummoxed for generations.

I may not understand the decisions anyone has made in their life: I may not endorse them, but that does not mean I should not support them and love them for who they are.

Why can't people just drop their preconceptions, stop being judgemental, and let people BE?
WillaKissing · 56-60
Cassandra, you said it very well.
For me it is the picking of out fits, heels, wigs, make up, nail colors, accessories, panties and lingerie worn under neath to breast forms that make the dressing up event exciting to me. The shaving and prepping to become her, and then the shower being all smooth and ready. drying off and then applying the make-up looking into the mirror seeing a feminine form taking place where once a manly figure once stood. Then dressing up int he chosen outfit, jewelry, nails, accessories, heels, and wig and then returning to the mirror to she beauty where once ugliness stood. Then stepping out into the world for a new adventure as Willa.

My dressing up has nothing to do with any sexual want or desire. I just love it and enjoy it greatly. I want nothing to do with the look or attention of any male. I would love a Girlfriend to join me though. I have PTSD and this is my greatest coping mechanism for me. 27 years of death and violence that I still see, hear, and taste while awake or asleep. So, this is coupled with my PTSD counseling and is my drug of choice to cope with the world as well as living on my private rural farm in retirement.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@WillaKissing Awwww...sweetie! I'm glad it's a release, of sorts, for you and it's wonderful to hear that it helps.

😘
Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
My friend in the Philippines switched at age fifteen. Won a beauty pageant a few years later then did sex work in Singapore and other spots with a friend but made the mistake of doing silicone oil injections in the breasts and thighs. Ended up getting a uniboob. Then tissue damage. I covered surgery two weeks ago to have it lyposuctioned out. The doctor said it would have killed her. The hormones she quit about six years ago after her TS friends started dying from heart failure. For her it resulted in severe varicose veins which she's having surgery for on Tuesday. It prevents her from standing very long so she can't work. She's a chef and also does hair styling on the side. For her the choice wasn't sex but it was how she identified and it would allow her to support her mom and sisters as there is no decent paying work in the Philippines unless you have special certificates which are quite expensive. BTW - Sarah says Hi!

Picture of my friend with her neice.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@Tastyfrzz Awwww, sweetie! That's lovely of you to support her. Yes, I guess that I personally am blessed with living in the West and having, somewhat, more tolerant conditions/people around - family, friends etc.

I work in IT, am pretty visible at work and nobody really questions or has issues with my gender identity in my workplace. At least, that's to my face. Behind it? That I can't control - Obvs! - so I don't let it worry me.

She's very pretty..

😘
PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
I think you said it quite well Cassandra. Thank you
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@PTCdresser57 My pleasure, honey.....
You covered it well. Humans are complex. Males can gravitate toward femininity for a variety of different reasons. It's not a one size fits all situation.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@BizSuitStacy Very true...

☺️
canadarm · M
I don’t wear lingerie to feel feminine, it’s the thrill of a hidden taboo that attracts me to do it.
( only under my regular guy-clothes; no one ever sees it).
My opinion is it's a fetish.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@FreeSpirit1 Being a woman is a fetish? Woah! *Giggles*

I guess it is for some - like I said - but for me it's just....me. Do I get excited with getting dressed? No, not really. Do I get excited, as any woman would, on trying on a new piece of clothing? Hell yeah, sweetie. That's only natural!

I live as a femme, my work know me as a femme, I'm treated as a woman; if anyone gives me gender crap at work then I take it higher. I'm not thought as some degenerate that wants to hang around the ladies loo....more some girl that wants to use it, sweetie. I'm the honorary girl at work, hang out with the other girls. I'm treated as an equal because I am an equal...simple!

😘
@CassandraSissy Yes, if you're a man pretending you are a woman it's a fetish in my opinion.
Being a woman isn't a fetish, but guys who dress up as women are not women.
Putting on panties and a dress doesn't make you a woman, being a woman is a lifelong experience from a little girl to womanhood.
So again, in MY opinion it's a fetish, you can disagree, that's fine.
CassandraSissy · 26-30, T
@FreeSpirit1 Let's just agree to disagree, eh sweetie? I look at it like this; You don't have to be biologically involved with a child to be a good parent, y'know? Are parents that adopt parent fetish? No, they give all the qualities of being the child's biological connection. They aren't anything less of a parent.

Same here. I am not playing at being a woman. This is me; for better or for worse...

☺️
GermanAf · 26-30, M
I've recently had a revelation of sorts about what "transgender" actually means and what gender/sex/whatever is actually "made of".

Armed with that knowledge i looked at myself and just came to the conclusion that there's no way the societal definitions are gonna work for me, or anyone. The whole thing stopped making any sense to me.
Teslin · M
My honest thoughts, YOU BE YOU !! It's that simple.
SammyJo · 51-55, F
A well thought out, and written, piece Cassandra. I think femininity is up there with 'just what makes a man?' - one of those intangible things that you know when you sense it and know when it's missing.

As a woman I just take that as kind of for granted. Never really questioned it all as it's the norm for me. Plus I am old! Lol!

SJD x
Glassysky · 26-30, M
T = mental illness
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
Thanks for sharing ..
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