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What do you say to an unwell person?

I have a friend who has been ill for a very long time and I always don't know what to say to her coz i suck at talking in general and I dont really know much about chronic pain .. :-0 I dont have any close friend or family member whos been ill for long either. I mean its so lucky that I happen to have lived a life not knowing too much about it in a way. But I feel bad not saying much to her either. Hmm. I don't think anything I say would comfort her at all coz its not something that can be helped by words..? But if you have experience with long term pain, what do u think was nice to hear? Or if you have a sick friend, what do you guys say to them?
doodlebug2013 · 41-45, F
The biggest thing is to just be there for her. Living with a chronic illness, I can tell you words can only do so much, anyway. A good idea for something to say would be to ask if there's anything you can do for her, but don't make it open ended. Ask about doing something concrete that would be genuinely helpful, like cooking and freezing a bunch of meal portions for her, or helping with cleaning her place or doing some kind of maintenance or something like that. Stuff that helps to have done for the times when you're too tired or hurty to do those things yourself. That helps me.
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@doodlebug2013 Thank you for the comment...! Actually she lives far away.. but maybe ill be able to help her or someone esle in practical ways in the future. Sometimes im scared that i try to say something nice to make someone feel better but in reality im not able to or not committed enough to give them actual practical help.. i think its something i can work on though..!!!!.. I should work on it.. >:-0..
HannahSky · F
Let them know you're sorry they're suffering and that you want to help if you can.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
I don't think you need to say much. She just needs your friendship now.
I think on the whole it's normal chats. Not changing the dynamic and treating them with pitty. Laughing and joking and sharing things as you normally would.
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@LilPuckBunny hmm we would talk about our days like i do with other friends but the difference is her everyday life is pretty intertwined with her illness.. like even when shes travelling and i ask hows the trip, a lot of times it turns out she had to spend time mostly indoor because of the pain. I always tell her stuff like 'I hope it gets better tomorrow' but i dont know what else to say :-0..
@jellyfishman It sounds like you're doing all you can. 🤗
(Even the fact that your concerned about it evidences this.)
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
I guess it depends on what your friend needs.
Do they want you to tell them all that's going on in your life at the moment ?

Do you get the feeling that perhaps they only want to hear positives ? About maybe how they look or what [i]they[/i] may have been up to recently ?

It could be that all they want is somebody elses voice and thoughts for a while.
As a break from their own.
SW-User
Tell them everything they can do matters. Some people feel like they aren’t enough when they have an illness physical or mental.
ABCDEF7 · M
Why it's getting late in her recovery?
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@ABCDEF7 they dont know :-( she recently had a procedure that was supposed to help reducing the pain but sounds like it didnt go very well and she is expecting another one.. really hope this time it's successful...!!!!!!
ABCDEF7 · M
@jellyfishman Tell her that sometimes it takes some time to get well, but you are sure that she will be well soon.
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@ABCDEF7 Thanks 🙏🙏🙏
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
Stay positive.
(Not to be said to HIV patients)!
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@Harriet03 lol!
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@jellyfishman old nurse's saying.
SW-User
Awwwwww I'm sorry. I'm not so good at this either. I hope she recovers
jellyfishman · 31-35, F
@SW-User Yes I hope the same.. @_@.. hopefully soon
Ian123 · 61-69, M
You really don’t need to talk about it, just be there if she needs you 🤗
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
Just be friends with her would be enough.

 
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