A girl I was seeing who was making me feel absolutely worthless was hiding a BPD diagnosis. Eh =/

@Therealsteve Where SHE was the abuser...but she didn't mention that. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

@4meAndyou Thank you. I just wish I had the strength to block this current bpd that's split on me. I'm attached to someone who isnt there =/ been checking my phone all day because she and they get you hooked on those notifications.

@Therealsteve "Just walk out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. There must be 50 ways to leave your lover. "

And ONE of them is to block her on social media.

@Matt85 It is, yeah. It's interesting. I'm actually an educational psychologist with a lot of specialisation in those kind of conditions. I noticed at first that she was making me feel the exact same awful way a previous BPD partner did. She split last night. And then I started putting her behaviours against all the psychological literature and thought "holy shit". She had me in this push pull dynamic where i wasnt close enough for her issues to show, but close enough that I could be her therapist or whatever else she wanted. Training me to be at her beck and call by triangulating me against these alleged horrible exs who were yet apparently good enough whilst keeping me at a distance with me stuck trying to prove myself by doing what she wants. I'll have to stop, this is literally my job and education and I'll go on for hours on how it all works. Lovebombing, mirroring, unloading trauma right at the beginning to create a false sense of emotional attachment, mention of ex's to triangulate. She had the full works.

BUT

I dodged a bullet, she'd have strung me along on this idea we would meet for as long as she could, to get a free therapist. Damn.

@MyNameIsHurl I'm a mental health practitioner. She didnt tell me she had it. i even point blank asked her if she had anything and she denied it. But i noticed her doing the same things as a bpd ex and being made to feel just as she did. She ended up discarding after she had been stringing me along with the idea of a meet which was meant to be with this month. Took a step back and thought through my studies. And wow. After discussing the BPD literature with Gemini, wow, it's insane how manipulative they are. "pre emptive andpro active triangulation" those are new terms to me. How it's both so simple but complex, and how this is being done by a brain damaged person to someone neurotypical, and somehow they manage to get their way emotionally, when they are the ones who aren't able to understand or express emotions.

@Therealsteve yep, and they can be dangerous

@MyNameIsHurl Sheesh yeah tell me about it. The last bpd triangulated me against a "love of her life" who didnt even exist. SHe;d leave made up chat logs with "him" to find. In one of them she told him she would accuse him of sexual assault unless he dated her. (btw back then i didnt know anything about the disorder, since got certified). Long story short (because every single thing they ever do is a multi layered manipulation game) In reference to seeing that message i said to her "did you ever accuse of him of something that could ruin his life?" "Maybe?" "Would you do the same to me?" "Maybe". And she'd constantly send me pictures of women all bruised and welted telling me she needed a "real beating" framing it as BDSM and when i told her I'd want clear, CLEAR written rules for doing that, she'd refuse. Terrifying, tbh. But she got me in a state of wanting to run back to that mess. In fairness, this new one denied she had any conditions. And you know what they are like, having you believe you've found the one.