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Observation of SW.

Have to say there appears to be many people here who are married or in relationships and are on this platform ALOT.

Obviously you have your reasons and no judgement, but surely if you're here, your not happy 🤷

Maybe the above said, your partner's are aware.
If so that's cool. If not, why not?

Are you being honest with yourselves? 🤔

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Ontheroad · M

I think some of it is they just want a little "me time", and it has nothing to do with how strong/good their marriage/relationship is.

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Ontheroad · M

@Purplerain78 That's a complicated question. If I had to guess, it's more that they are sort of satisfied with their marriage/relationship, but there is something missing that drives them to look elsewhere to fill that void.

They may have tried working it out with their partner and gotten nowhere, but still, it's a comfortable (mostly) relationship that they don't want to risk losing... hence their online presence.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@Ontheroad If their other half isn't aware of their online activity though isn't that kind of selfish? Living a big of a lie really...🤔

Ontheroad · M

@Purplerain78 Maybe, maybe not... there are too many different situations for me to judge why others do what they do. For all I know, being able to come here and let loose, or find a bit of comfort/get what it is they need, might be the out they need to save a family.

I've found that life isn't a simple yes or no, right or wrong, truth or lie. Yes, some are here to cheat, and that is wrong, but I think that is a very small minority.

MsSwan

When you've been married for a long time there's no need to be up each other's asses all the time. We eat dinner together and make time for each other on the weekends, but during the week he's in his man cave and I'm in the living room doing my own thing.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@MsSwan I get that, to not say anything about what you're up to online though....I find odd 🤷

MsSwan

@Purplerain78 I've told him about the site and whenever he hears me laugh he knows it's either something on tv or SW.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@MsSwan Ah cool 👍

NerdySoph · 26-30, F

I dont have one. A partner in life.

Seems all the best women here are straight and all the best non psycho men are taken. Not that i'm looking, just an observation.

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

I’m not sure what you mean. While this isn’t a dating site some users post sex stuff. But not all of us are here for that.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@WintaTheAngle I'm sure many aren't here for the cheap thrills so to speak. I just think if you're on any social media platforms all the time, rather than having quality time with your partner.... that's a bit of a red flag within a relationship.

WintaTheAngle · 41-45, M

@Purplerain78 It’s more like we work opposite hours to each other on certain weeks. And this is just something to pass the down time we can’t spend together.

Montanaman · M

@WintaTheAngle Snap! 👍 I'm only in here when at work and there's time in-between jobs. Especially when on nights. I do talk and text my wife regularly while at work and there's time.

RedBaron · M

My wife and I have been happily married for nine years, but she works outside our home and I work at home for myself, so I have more free time to be on here.

A word to the wise: Don’t be judgmental of people and relationships you know nothing about.

Thanks.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@RedBaron Each to their own. However I personally couldn't be on an app and not tell my partner anything about it. If you've ever been on the receiving end of lies and discovered stuff then maybe you'd understand. Or maybe you wouldn't care....who knows 🤷

RedBaron · M

@Purplerain78 I tell her that I’m on here, and I have shared photos of us.

I’m not doing anything behind her back.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@RedBaron Some people do though on platforms such as this, for whatever reasons. If you're honest and they know then that's a good thing

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

The married men looking for nudes and dirty talk are abundant.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@AlchemyFox No doubt.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

It’s a way for some to cheat without thinking they are cheating. @AlchemyFox

AlchemyFox · 36-40, F

@Carissimi Yup, and it's gross.

I understand how marriages turn sour, but that doesn't mean other women want to be their side piece.

I think of their wives. No matter what the situation, I won't know the truth, but I'm definitely not getting involved.

WillaKissing · 56-60

Good question. Really and truly, it is.

I cannot answer it though having been single for 16 years now.

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

Why would I not be happy because I'm here and am married? There are many happy married people here. I am perfectly honest with myself and others here.

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Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@JimboSaturn See to me that's dishonest on both your parts. If it works for you both and you trust one another enough to know there's no sexting other people etc then fair enough. How would you feel though if you discovered something you didn't want to, or she did from you?

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

@Purplerain78 I don't find it dishonest at all, she is an adult, she doesn't have to tell me everyone she talks to. I am very confident in our relationship; we are together for life and love each other.
Just because you can't imagine a relationship like that, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

My observation is that when people say they are not being judgmental, they are being exactly that.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@JimboSaturn Not saying it's wrong, many people have open relationships. I just think it takes a huge amount of trust. If you have that then great, and good for you 🙂

Synyster · 51-55, M

You’ve got a valid point. I have to agree, if you’re on here spending several hours a day everyday, something isn’t right in your marriage or relationship.

When the profile says complicated it’s because you’re seeking an alternative.
JMO

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@Synyster inclined to agree

bijouxbroussard · F

I’m a retired widow. If I were looking for a new partner it wouldn’t be here. This is just a place for friendship and (non-sexual) conversation.

I’m not a marriage counselor, so I try not to judge the presence of marrieds here, as long as they’re not obviously hitting on others.

Some of the folks I consider friends are married, but I never say anything their spouses couldn’t be reading over their shoulders.

calicuz · 51-55, M

Even the best relationships require some time away from each other. I wouldn't say any time on this website is any kind of gauge of anyone's relationship.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@calicuz If you're unable to tell you other half your here, why is that? What is it your hiding? I agree a healthy relationship requires separate hobbies etc. Don't think SW qualifies though 🤣

calicuz · 51-55, M

@Purplerain78

Who knows, I come here for the laughs and to encourage my friends. 🙂

JovialMoose · 46-50, M

If you’ve tried for years to have a pleasant social life with your partner and fail….

Here are a few choices (here are some examples): Leave that person and your family (possibly losing 50% of your child) or find a social outlet online, find a social outlet in person.

SW allows you to have a social outlet in your pocket. Take it out and participate when you have time. It’s nice.

Some people take it further than “social”… make of that what you will.

Rolexeo · 26-30, M

This isn't a dating site, what are you on about?

OnePatheticClown · 51-55, M

🤔 I'm old and ridiculous, without anyone in the world who cares at least, which is why I guess I materialized here in SW.

Juvia · 18-21, F

What do you mean by a lot tho???
Tbh I don't see a lotta people here in relationships, or maybe I don't pay attention.

PhilDeep · 51-55, M

It seems like exclusivity was something before internet and multiple cyber relationships on the go simultaneously became the newly accepted norm, seemingly. I no longer believe exclusivity exists except perhaps extremely rarely. That multiplicity seems a given. Maybe I'm just cynical. Maybe many have too much of a guilty conscience to even consider the matter for discussion.

MrBrownstone · 46-50, M

I kinda feel the same.

Lostpoet · M

I'm single

SW-User

I'm perfectly happy in my relationship, but she doesn't know I'm here. I'm not looking for nudes, but I'll look when they come along.

Purplerain78 · 41-45, F

@SW-User So there's an element of secrecy and curiosity

SW-User

@Purplerain78 Yes. I sometimes wish there wasn't, but it's been too long now. This is why I've deleted my account so many times.

I think when I first joined EP things weren't going so well, and I did want a secret place to escape to.