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Looking for advice!

In a little over a year I'll be 40. I'm unmarried, single, childless, and friendless. I'm depressed and overweight. Overdue for a promotion. Still renting. I've been working on all 8 things for the past 5 years, trying to make some improvement, but I'll make a few steps forward and then take several steps back. Why??? My life is not as terrible as it seems, btw, but what gives?

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blindbob · 41-45

@ScidoAmafreikis um. ok.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Well it has to be said, you probably picked the hardest period of modern history in which to try and make improvements 😄 given the economic crisis; covid; Trump etc.

For somebody your age I’d suggest you give yourself a clean slate.

Figure out where you want to be and what you want to do and just go for it !

What type of environment do you want to live in ? City; Town; Country; Beach ?

What type of living do you want to make ?

Try and figure these out and then research a bunch of places that might be worth looking at

blindbob · 41-45

@Picklebobble2 I did that 2 years ago: Moved to a new city, got a new job, but then, yeah, the pandemic hit and stopped everything in its tracks.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@blindbob No reason why you can’t reassess !
Millions in the same position you can bet they’re doing exactly the same !

QueenOfZaun · 26-30, F

It sounds like you’re trying to improve your life and you’ve had some success but it doesn’t last. From what you wrote, I get the impression that you are doing things that used to help you but no longer do. My advice, is to experiment. Clearly the way you are trying to achieve your goals is not working the way you want it to. Try to think outside the methods you are currently practicing

blindbob · 41-45

@QueenOfZaun Yeah, you're definitely right. The old motivators don't work anymore. The old techniques don't help. I have tried different things over the years, but you're absolutely right. I need to think outside the box.

Lilliesandlight · 41-45, F

Work on the weight. Concentrate your efforts on that. When you reach your goals confidence will follow. Also get help for the depression, depression and unhealthy weight often go hand in hand. I feel your struggle friend.

blindbob · 41-45

@Lilliesandlight Yeah, you're right. I was working hard on my weight a few months ago but then I had a surgery and not long after that a cancer scare. Since all that I gained more weight.

Lilliesandlight · 41-45, F

@blindbob oh gosh are you ok? No cancer, right?

blindbob · 41-45

@Lilliesandlight I'm fine. It was my thyroid so that is making weight loss harder.

checkoutanytime · M

Just slow down, take a timeout to put things in perspective when you are tailgating at 85 mph remember the 2-nd rule holds you back from harmful consequences 😀

MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M

Just keep doing your best

blindbob · 41-45

@MURD3RM0NK3Y Sadly, sometimes your best isn't enough.

MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M

@blindbob so keep beating yourself up then ?

blindbob · 41-45

@MURD3RM0NK3Y Being kind to myself hasn't worked either. :(

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

U could adopt a child if u want

blindbob · 41-45

@smileylovesgaming I want to have a biological child, at least one, but I'm scared to do it on my own. This is one of my crazy anxieties these days.

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