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Isn’t this gaslighting ?

For example

Say someone insults you directly to your face. and you respond in a way they don’t like. So they play it off as if they were joking, and try to make you look like the bad guy (because you reacted to their “meaningless joke” and therefore they are the victim 🤔 ?
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F Best Comment
B*tches are always joking but rarely have the balls to back their jokes up.

It's gaslighting with a halo on.
LucyFuhr · 51-55, F
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] Thank you for B.C.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@8345,LucyFuhr] bc or bbc?😳

MethDozer · M
It could be but probably not, depends on the intention. Gaslighting has a very specific intention of directed manipulating a person into believing they are crazy or to question their grasp of reality.

Just saying you didn't see something you did or backpedaling on a comment isn't gaslighting. Now if you did something with the intention of backpedaling and convincing them it didn't happen for the purpose of making them question their own perception that's what gaslighting is. It's another specific term that has been waterdown by general public overuse

quote] Gaslighting is a form of sustained psychological manipulation that causes the victim to question or doubt his or her sanity, judgment, and memories. [/quote]

[quote] Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment.[1] It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction and disinformation,[2] gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs. [/quote]
everyoneknows · 31-35, T
[@521796,MethDozer] its what my dad does to my mom. sad.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@521796,MethDozer] yeah, that makes a lot of sense so she is backpedaling. i don't think she originally did it with the intent of backpedaling.
It is definitely a gaslighting tactic. The term can also refer to a pattern of this sort of behavior to the point where the victim no longer trusts their own perception of reality. The goal of such behavior is to get the person to a point where they dismiss their own judgement because they are at a point that they have been convinced they are the irrational one.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
Yes, that's definitely gaslighting.
Gaslighting minimises your feelings, makes you doubt your own feelings and even doubt facts you know happened.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@521796,MethDozer] that sounds exactly what he just said tho 🤨
MethDozer · M
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] I mean your example isn't necessarily gaslighting. There's not enough in the example to qualify, but where you elaborated the story in a response it kinda looks more like a possibility.

The thing is gaslighting has a long term intent and planned set ups.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@521796,MethDozer] I don’t think it was intended by any means I just think that is a case or poor social skills and like you said, back peddling.
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
Ehhh, that's more like denial.

Gaslighting is usually an ongoing campaign of deny/reframing someone else's reality so much that they start to question their own senses and beliefs.
SW User
Yes, I take it as gaslighting.
Though they deny it and say I got no sense of humour. 😂
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
Relatable 😀[@44604,Aidolovemostofyourthoughts]
SW User
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] Someone keeps gaslighting me and when I point it out he tells me how many psychologists he knows and none of them have the problem I have, so I am making it up.
(I've not met his psychologist friends.)😂
Benjr134 · 36-40, M
It is manipulation but it isn’t gaslighting. Gaslighting is literally when a partner or group try and make you question your actual memories. Like they did something to you and make you think it actually didn’t happen. It’s mostly emotional manipulation. Making you question your emotions rather than your memories. Like you responded to them inappropriately despite then making the insult.
TexChik · F
Oh I don’t care . If they are not a trusted friend I giv’em both barrels and remove them from My SW experience if they continue bothering me . Life is too short to let a SM site upset you for longer than a second or two
TexChik · F
[@1202007,everyoneknows] only once , and it was recent . She apparently is very insecure and started making inappropriate remarks about my appearance . 🤷🏻‍♀️
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@113373,TexChik] I'm sorry to hear that! you hardly even post pictures wtf
TexChik · F
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] yep . That is one reason why I don’t post pics on here .
everyoneknows · 31-35, T
depends why did it 🙄
everyoneknows · 31-35, T
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] thats really a unacceptable form of punishment because spexially if your still developing, not eating hinders all your physical emotional mental development.. even if youralreasy an adult is not ok. its better a beating.
but she probably was too ignorant to know it could affect you in the future
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@1202007,everyoneknows] i look at it like this

they are in Georgia and i moved to Florida 300+ miles away from their psycho asses, and I'm just going to do my best to try to reprogram my dysfunctional upbringing to not pass it onto my children.

and they are very ignorant and i feel ignorant too honestly i should have went to the school and told on their asses
everyoneknows · 31-35, T
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] i meant ignorant in general you dont need to go to school to not be ignorant tbh if i hadnt gone to school i would be even less ignorant than now 😑
Coppercoil · M
This site is one huge head game.. those who act in any way innocent or victimized by mean mean other people should be considered the most likely to be up to no good when the curtains are drawn. Except for me. I'm the greatest lil angel this site has ever known. 😇
QuietJeSs · 31-35, F
Gaslighting is a pretty strong word for that, if it was continued instances of it in an attempt to make the person appear deranged maybe id call it gaslighting
Discobiscuit · 31-35, F
Yeah I'd say so. My friend's boyfriend does this to her all the time.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
But when you bring it up to the person they reject it completely like “what are you talking about ?” “no one does that” “you’re being sensitive” 🙄🤷🏼‍♀️

Seem familiar?

Discobiscuit · 31-35, F
[@25801,DeluxedEdition] absolutely. It's horrible.
RogueLoner · M
Maybe, but sometimes it IS an endearing joke and an oversensitive person over reacts. There are a lot of way over sensitive people in society today.
Also, what constitutes an "insult" is widely exaggerated these days. Everything insults oversensitive people who wake up looking to be insulted, or they over analyze.
Constructive criticism is not insulting, especially with someone you care about.
Rooster · M
Yes, I think so also. I've seen it here quite a bit.
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
So true [@527571,Rooster]
Stopmakingsense · 56-60, F
No, that's lying.
Gaslighting is when somebody who has been deaf for eighteen years answers the phone and recognizes the caller's voice. Then, when the caller screams "Dad! You can hear me!" He answers "I'm very busy right now, do you mind if I call you back?" And nobody in the family ever mentions the missing deafness- ever. Even when the caller tried to bring it up.
The idea it to make you feel crazy and second guess your stance.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
I think people like that are just idiots
Nayla · 51-55, F
4meAndyou · F
Yes, that's one of the classics. Saying something really hurtful and toxic, and if you become angry, they immediately say, "Can't you take a joke? I was just kidding."
SW User
It sounds like it. A lot of what I say is in jest, but I try to be sure people understand that. Its not always easy in text conversations.
tddyd9 · 61-69, M
Yeah basically, you can not have a conversation with a gaslighter, just pound your head against the wall instead
OzDiver · 61-69, M
Yep. That's textbook gaslighting.
Thorstormbringer · 61-69, M
This is now the common ploy.

Isn’t it?
SpaceJesus · 41-45, M
Yah sounds like it
Tequila · 22-25, F
beat up that person ;)
adorbz · 22-25, F
DeluxedEdition · 22-25, F
[@596681,TheBlackPowerRanger] this question is referring to my grandmother. she is a wonderful person, but god knows she has her fair share of problems.

she will straight up go up to my mom and tell her she is getting fat, and then my mom will get mad. and then my grandmother likes to play it off like a joke and go as far as getting mad at us, and even making us apologize to her. she will say we are sensitive, which is why we don't understand her humor. 🤣

she is a very angry miserable person. she is always talking shit or has something bad to say about something or someone

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