@
everyoneknows 'well it's my life therefore ultimately it's my say 😄'
i was originally going to say that but i thought i would open up and humor you and show you people why i never open up 😄
These are behaviors from my grandma. she raised me which is why we are even talking about this. personally, from being an adult and studying psychology, I feel like I understand her better today than ever.
she has horrible anxiety. she is afraid to leave her house. she is afraid of being broke into, she is afraid of being robbed, she is afraid of being mugged, she is afraid of getting kidnapped, she is afraid of dying, she is afraid of falling. she is afraid of everything. she is a closet alcoholic, she had a horrible childhood that my mother and I are beginning to piece together but she has never mentioned her childhood. She doesn't talk about her mother, but when her mother was dying she never went to see or visit her. we think it has something to do with her mother.
my grandmother was very emotionally and psychologically abusive without even realizing it. some parents say "you eat what I cook for you."
well, eating was a privilege. Meaning it could get taken away. She would withhold food from us as a form of punishment, and she did.
The longest I went being withheld from food was a week. I lived with my grandmother because my mom is bipolar and very mentally unstable and crazy and aggressive and always screaming and yelling and throwing things and throwing grown ass temper tantrums, and was also an alcoholic who was very abusive at times.
The withholding of food was so extreme I actually called my mother whom I didn't get along with AT ALL and had to move back in with her.
the few days before i had no access to food. they would sit around and eat dinner right in front of me and wouldnt let me have any. when she realized i was sneaking food at night she would lock up the cabinets and hide the food somewhere else. i only got to eat when i was at school.
upon leaving her house with my boyfriend who was helping me pack my grandmother begins berating me. cussing me out screaming at me, calling me ungrateful, asking me what I'm doing and where I'm going. and I told her "I am going back to my moms since you have literally withheld food from me for a week" and she proceeds to SAY THAT ISN'T TRUE AND NEVER HAPPENED and she doesn't know where all of this is coming from.
to which i didn't even argue with her because what is the point? You never fucking win.
i grabbed my shit and went back to my mothers house.
