Creepy is a sweet word for it, is my honest response. I can understand but then, I also cannot. Each to their own of course but what is a 50 yo man or woman doing with a 20 yo ?
The biggest relationship in my life started when I was 19 and he was 37. It's still a big gap. I am 37 today and I have caught myself flirting with 20 yo. And the moment I caught myself doing it, I quiet myself.
It's not fair and becomes inevitably manipulative, and I would dare say, even naturally manipulative.
I believe in freedom but I also believe in respect. If a youngster is looking at me with such eyes, I recognise and I know, I treat them with respect and keep them at a distance.
Say anything you want but I've done it twice in my life, later in my 30s I was with a man in his 50s. I don't think it healthy. The way I see it nowadays, such choices stem from trauma from the youngster and unresolved issues and inability to mature from the eldest. The young ones are looking for a parent, extreme anxiety that only an older and more calm person can provide safety for. The old ones I think are looking for acceptance and enthusiasm, after what seems like the world (hence themselves), has let them down.
But guess what, nothing changes and no healing can occur as usually there're so much things hidden in these age gap relationships, because they simply cannot be communicated, as each person is on a completely different phase.
Yes I can see the sweetness, the daring against the world's preconceptions and the freedom, the deep nurturing and care ...but for me the bypassing that's happening, over the years, isn't nutritious, isn't healthy.
Again, each to their own. 10 ish years difference is where I put my line nowadays, and I am not saying I'm not crossing it, but saying that I see it in a completely different light than I used to. Anyone getting involved in such a scenario I'd advise them to pause and allow it time.
Now when these people are married and have a child... I'm harsh, I don't know what to say.
There's love I can say, that can overpass and cross and bridge. There are solutions and ways and middle grounds. Life isn't perfect and it's messy...
And age is one thing. There are tons of couples having the same age and suffering between them from a thousand of other issues. People hate and kill eachother for a thousand of imaginative things. So, I'd say, in the end of the day, it's love we're talking about and so I'd let it be, as a sweet thing, very different point from where I started in my reply to this thread...:)
I hope I'm not tiring you with the long text ..
