Childhood friend doesn't remember me

I doubt that helping her recall a good part of her life would trigger her memories of traumas. I think it would be more likely to be beneficial.

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Memories are associative: good with the circumstances in which in occurred, and bad with its circumstances.

While it's true that trauma can block out memories - the resurfacing of such memories in adulthood can be extremely helpful for therapy. EMDR works very effectively for PTSD, usually within 3 to 9 sessions for each major specific event. If a certain type of trauma occurred many times, it's only necessary to use the EMDR for one example - and the effect transfers to all similar episodes.

Some people simple have very poor memories.

I remember most of my childhood with a high level of detail going back to 4 years old, and a sprinkling of moments before that. But my sister has almost no memories except for some of her friendships with neighbours and at school - almost nothing within the family. She has made up a story - that she adored our father and had a great relationship with him. In reality, he couldn't stand her disobedience, tantrums, and lack of intelligence. Mum repeatedly begged him to show love and he repeatedly refused on the grounds that "kids can see through pretense." He resented Mum for conceiving her without discussing it with him first. He continuously either ignored or shouted at her. With tragic results for her adult relationships with men.

My husband has ADHD and has virtually no memories of his childhood, except for a few foods and playing ball. He has also forgotten more than 3/4 of the time we've shared together over the last 39 years - though if I remind him of specific events, he can recall vague fragments.

I believe that, as well as our emotions, the physical/neurological functionality of individual brains makes a huge difference to memory.

For me growing up with extreme abuse was like walking through a field of broken glass .The shards got pushed into my feet and eventually they scarred over so no one noticed except i didn't walk like others . Then one day a shard > memory started coming out and i had to remove it ,the pain was intense and i vowed to never do it again .But the shards kept coming
Maybe in her case it's best to let her shards come out in her own time and not prod her to remember.

Update... I showed her our class photo from first grade and she's starting to gain some good (and not so good) memories. She wants to meetup and talk. Hopefully I can be there to be supportive through it for her.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience with your childhood friend. It can be difficult to reconcile our memories and emotions with those of others, especially when our experiences were traumatic. It's important to respect your friend's boundaries and not push too hard if she is not ready to remember or discuss the past. It's also possible that her lack of memory is a form of coping with her own trauma. It's okay to feel sad and disappointed that she doesn't remember you, but it's important to prioritize both your own and your friend's emotional well-being in any interactions you have moving forward.

I think you are right to be cautious. Sometimes triggering blocked memories can be extremely rough and bad on the person. And they tend to be confusing fragments. Idk. I really struggled with my own. So I think it's best to not push, and just be supportive. Idk.

I'm sorry you both suffered such trauma.
But it's good that you can understand and won't push. Cherish your good memories of your friend being your rock even if she doesn't remember you.

I had a good friend, who at the time, unknowingly helped me live through some very rough teenage years. We've grown apart over the years now.

A few years ago I went to McDonald's with my Uncle and cousin. Would u believe I ran into a girl there that remember me from like second grade. Of course I didn't remember her. I should have gotten her number at least so I could contact her

You can't resurrect the past. Maybe show her a picture of you two together from back when.

you are right to be caution, there may be bad things back there

I have had trauma too and have blocked out much. Best to try and build a new relationship with her now if you can and she is open to it.

You still can have get new friends, it's never late . :)

I noticed as humans we kind of cancel the past every then years .

childhood is something we move behind

Sometimes people will not remember you from their childhood age

It’s entirely possible that life outside of her friendship with you was in fact so traumatic for her that she’s blocked out everything from that time. 🥺