Childhood friend doesn't remember me
When I was 6 years old a neighbor moved in next door with a young girl my age. We became best friends, we did EVERYTHING together for almost 2 years. We were in the same class, went to the same after school program, camp. We were basically inseparable. Even would go to the bathroom at the same time to get out of gym. Our childhoods were far from the 'best' (not going to go into great detail here) but we both came from very abusive households and was very traumatic.
One day I was told that her grandparents took her away from her mom from another state. I never bonded with another friend like her again.... Due to how traumatic and unexplained of why she left every few months for over 15 years I've dreamed about her and vivid memories we shared together as friendship and always wondered if she was ok.....
I finally went back to the housing we stayed at (very traumatic place and so I've avoided it for along time...) and saw her address; and started searching it, and found the reason why I could never find her was I was spelling her last name wrong the entire time (very unique last name) - I message her today when I found her....
She tells me it's been so long ago, and that she doesn't remember much from living with her mom. I showed her some of the pictures I have (sadly I don't have some of us together) and some of the memories, she started to get pieces together... but again... doesn't really remember me....
Due to my own childhood trauma; she was probably the only beaker in a few years of happiness I had. I never did make another true friend after her. I also understand trauma can cause you to block out memories.
I'm worried about pushing it and showing her too much and triggering some ptsd she's blocking..... but also sad she doesn't remember me when she was such an important part of my life.
One day I was told that her grandparents took her away from her mom from another state. I never bonded with another friend like her again.... Due to how traumatic and unexplained of why she left every few months for over 15 years I've dreamed about her and vivid memories we shared together as friendship and always wondered if she was ok.....
I finally went back to the housing we stayed at (very traumatic place and so I've avoided it for along time...) and saw her address; and started searching it, and found the reason why I could never find her was I was spelling her last name wrong the entire time (very unique last name) - I message her today when I found her....
She tells me it's been so long ago, and that she doesn't remember much from living with her mom. I showed her some of the pictures I have (sadly I don't have some of us together) and some of the memories, she started to get pieces together... but again... doesn't really remember me....
Due to my own childhood trauma; she was probably the only beaker in a few years of happiness I had. I never did make another true friend after her. I also understand trauma can cause you to block out memories.
I'm worried about pushing it and showing her too much and triggering some ptsd she's blocking..... but also sad she doesn't remember me when she was such an important part of my life.
31-35, F
