Custody battle help

Hi everyone , if anyone can give me advice I will be very detailed. My daughter whose 8 lives with her dad we have shared custody. Iv been in an abusive relationship for the 4 years as to why she ended up with her dad now. I have another child he stays with me and his dad in jail. Now my daughters dad is trying to have my daughter live with him , and I just get visitation but I want her to be in my care because I haven’t been with her in 4 years behind my toxic ex whose in jail. Now and has been in and out behind me. My daughters dad has told me he doesn’t want my daughter with me because I just can’t make the right decisions and that he feels I can’t be a mother to her because of my past , I had an abusive relationship with him as well so at that time I struggled but my daughter was living with me up until this abusive relationship of 4 years he told me he’s gonna get a layer so she can never live with me again. I haven’t been to court because I’m trying to move so my ex can’t find me when gets out of jail . I feel like I’m going to never have my daughter again even though I’m working hard with no help , he even said he doesn’t want my daughter on my care because I’m going to have her baby sit.. how the hell is that gonna be . I don’t do drugs or drink i I’m not unstable but I am worried he might have a strong case to keep my daughter from me . Mind you a year ago I called acs on him because he hit my daughter so hard in the mouth he busted her lip , he got away with it too because at this time I was in a shelter because my ex stalked me.. my ex even threatened my daughter and her dad , it’s a big mess . I just know I’m not dealing with my ex anymore and I’m nervous that it may take years to get my daughter back behind my past. I don’t know what to do I just miss my child so much

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Torsten · 36-40, M

that sounds like a mess. Did you take any photos of your daughter after she was hit or take her to hospital or anything that there will be records of it?
does her father have legal custody now and not just agreed custody?

How long is your ex in jail and if he will be around once he gets out, is it really a safe environment for your daughter?
Do you have people around that would be a danger to her like as in dating and so on?

As a mother you have all the advantage in family law. So if your daughter at such a young age was taken from you by the court, there must have been a incredible amount going against you and them not feeling your daughter is safe.
If that is the case, you need to fix all of that and make sure your daughter would have a safe home with you and that you have all the tools to raise her.
Without that, you wont win custody and if he has full custody now, you most likely will never get full custody. Best you can hope for is shared

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Torsten · 36-40, M

@Pillowtalk714 well again you have the advantage because you are the mother and family law is biased for sure.
In saying that I dont think you will get full custody at this point unless your ex (her father) screws up really bad.
You have a bit going against you though with your other ex and all. I guess good thing on your side is how young your daughter is. That goes in your favor also.

weird cps did not do anything. I wonder if they did a investigation. Did you go to police over it?

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

@Torsten no I should’ve .. I just had so much going on I was pregnant too..I’m happy you been following along some ppl get confused in a mess like this lol bless your soul . Tbh I think my situation was so bad that they just put it under the rug and looked at what was going on with me .. it’s been hell I tell you that much

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

God this is really bad isn’t it . Well I hope someone can take from my situation and myself as well bcuz I never want to go through this ever again

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

Sounds like a battle for the court to decide. But I would print out any text and doctor visits

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

@smileylovesgaming may the best parent win right 😂

Diotrephes · 70-79, M

[@Pillowtalk714} Based on countless events in other people's lives, it might be best for all involved if you walked away. So, a course of action might be to have a sit-down meeting with your daughter and her father and explain to her that you love her but that you have to remove yourself from her life for now. Explain that you trust her father to always do right by her but you simply can't cope with the constant conflict. Tell her that when she becomes of age you will eagerly welcome her into your life, if she wants to contact her. Set the rules for your involvement in her life until that time. Will you be able to see her at special times and to give her gifts, etc. Will she be able to interact with her half-brother/half-sister? Have her father answer those questions in front of her.

The thing is that if you continue to have the conflict you are having, someone may very well kill someone out of anger. It happens everyday to people in similar circumstances as you described.

So, take care of yourself and your other child. Those are the things you can control.

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

I’m not even with the abusive ex , I don’t want to be with him, he aggressively stalks me and iv had to put him in jail multiple times because they keep releasing and he does the same thing so he stays longer each time. It doesn’t sound like a good idea because her father does not respect me and was once an abuser to me and he has put his hands on my daughter for just crying he has anger issues but he’s more in control because he just wants money from my daughter he sees her an opportunity not as a child . He works and drops off my kid at his moms he has a lot of help so he doesn’t have to do shit but sit back and bad mouth me to her.

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

If I was to leave he would just get full custody and make me suffer for years to get her back if he actually cared then I would consider it just so I can get back on track but I don’t trust him at all

WaryWitchWandering · 31-35, F

I would not be dating anyone for some time, and be sure you have a safe place to live and a job/income. If you get all your ducks in a row and can create an environment that is conducive to raising a child, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be granted custody.

Did you know child abuse is 40X more likely when a single parent finds a new partner?

Pillowtalk714 · 26-30, F

@WaryWitchWandering yes ma’am I agree with you , I’m trying my best and it’s crazy I was single for 5 years waiting for the right and bam picked another wrong one but I’m setting healthier boundaries and going to put in more work bcuz I don’t want to a victim or my kids , I see men like to prey on women and I’m a big target . Thank u for responding