Custody battle help

Hi everyone , if anyone can give me advice I will be very detailed. My daughter whose 8 lives with her dad we have shared custody. Iv been in an abusive relationship for the 4 years as to why she ended up with her dad now. I have another child he stays with me and his dad in jail. Now my daughters dad is trying to have my daughter live with him , and I just get visitation but I want her to be in my care because I haven’t been with her in 4 years behind my toxic ex whose in jail. Now and has been in and out behind me. My daughters dad has told me he doesn’t want my daughter with me because I just can’t make the right decisions and that he feels I can’t be a mother to her because of my past , I had an abusive relationship with him as well so at that time I struggled but my daughter was living with me up until this abusive relationship of 4 years he told me he’s gonna get a layer so she can never live with me again. I haven’t been to court because I’m trying to move so my ex can’t find me when gets out of jail . I feel like I’m going to never have my daughter again even though I’m working hard with no help , he even said he doesn’t want my daughter on my care because I’m going to have her baby sit.. how the hell is that gonna be . I don’t do drugs or drink i I’m not unstable but I am worried he might have a strong case to keep my daughter from me . Mind you a year ago I called acs on him because he hit my daughter so hard in the mouth he busted her lip , he got away with it too because at this time I was in a shelter because my ex stalked me.. my ex even threatened my daughter and her dad , it’s a big mess . I just know I’m not dealing with my ex anymore and I’m nervous that it may take years to get my daughter back behind my past. I don’t know what to do I just miss my child so much

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Diotrephes · 70-79, M

[@Pillowtalk714} Based on countless events in other people's lives, it might be best for all involved if you walked away. So, a course of action might be to have a sit-down meeting with your daughter and her father and explain to her that you love her but that you have to remove yourself from her life for now. Explain that you trust her father to always do right by her but you simply can't cope with the constant conflict. Tell her that when she becomes of age you will eagerly welcome her into your life, if she wants to contact her. Set the rules for your involvement in her life until that time. Will you be able to see her at special times and to give her gifts, etc. Will she be able to interact with her half-brother/half-sister? Have her father answer those questions in front of her.

The thing is that if you continue to have the conflict you are having, someone may very well kill someone out of anger. It happens everyday to people in similar circumstances as you described.

So, take care of yourself and your other child. Those are the things you can control.

Pillowtalk714 · 31-35, F

I’m not even with the abusive ex , I don’t want to be with him, he aggressively stalks me and iv had to put him in jail multiple times because they keep releasing and he does the same thing so he stays longer each time. It doesn’t sound like a good idea because her father does not respect me and was once an abuser to me and he has put his hands on my daughter for just crying he has anger issues but he’s more in control because he just wants money from my daughter he sees her an opportunity not as a child . He works and drops off my kid at his moms he has a lot of help so he doesn’t have to do shit but sit back and bad mouth me to her.

Pillowtalk714 · 31-35, F

If I was to leave he would just get full custody and make me suffer for years to get her back if he actually cared then I would consider it just so I can get back on track but I don’t trust him at all

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