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Have your parent(s) embarrassed you a lot growing up and how did it affect you now that you’re an adult?

I’m just curious to know. I learned a lot realizing things, looking back on my childhood and how it relates to affecting me as an adult.

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MellyMel22 · F

[i]The man who raised me, who I always considered my dad was a bad alcoholic. So there were many times he embarrassed me. When I used to ask him to please lower the blaring music, he’d get out of the car where ever we were and dance to embarrass me 🙄 Thankfully he recovered and hasn’t had a drink going on 23 or 24 years. He got sober when I was pregnant with my first child.

I don’t think it affects me now though. I’m sorry if yours is affecting you 😞 [/c]

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MellyMel22 · F

@Docdon23 I remember clearly having to pull the wheel as a kid when he’d pass out driving. It was a scary childhood, that’s for sure. But I’ll give it to mine, he worked no matter what each day. And he provided and managed to love and care and be there no matter what. It just would’ve been easier not worrying so much. I’m sure you understand.

Docdon23 · M

@MellyMel22 I do...mine rarely drove drunk--he drank at home and beat me, or came home drunk...did not drive drunk with his kids in the car...he had a great job but he lost it because of alcohol, and eventually lost his whole family, divorce and we never saw him again ever...

MellyMel22 · F

@Docdon23 I’m sorry to hear that. At least he didn’t drive that way. I still till this day don’t get how my mom allowed it. I won’t let my kids in anyone’s car who had even one drink before driving.

SweetMae · 70-79, F

My parents would embarass me when they slapped me around in public.

FreeSpirit1 · F

@SweetMae 😡

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@SweetMae my mom said when she was a kid her mom would slap her to embarrass her in front of people.

SweetMae · 70-79, F

@Sunflower2021 I am sorry she had to endure that. 🤗

Pfuzylogic · M

I had to develop personal boundaries on my own because my parents preferred that I didn’t have any. They would get so angry but it was a time for them to realize when their children had become adults that it is time to let go.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@Pfuzylogic same

FreeSpirit1 · F

My nudist swinger hippie parents never ever embarrassed me.... 🤭.
Ok, just a few times but it hasn't affected me negatively in my life.

thepreposterouspanda · 36-40, M

Yeah, my mom managed to keep me pretty torn down my entire life. Only in the past couple of years have I realized how little her opinion means to me at this point.

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@thepreposterouspanda I’m glad you realize it now.

thepreposterouspanda · 36-40, M

@Sunflower2021 Same. It's a strange feeling but a good one. :)

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

It wasn't about embarrassing me, it's always been about making me feel embarrassed by their over-reaction, ridicule or disparaging of things I did or liked but they didn't. Shaming was their standard method of upbringing. As a result I never feel like anything I do is good enough and I always think too much about what other people think.

Elessar · 26-30, M

@CrazyMusicLover Sounds familiar 😶

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@CrazyMusicLover oh. I think my mom didn’t really realize what she did, but I see it.

Docdon23 · M

yes--my father was a raging, abusive alcoholic. i could never have friends over for fear of what he would do. Yes, that impacted me a great deal especially when I had my own kids. I did not drink anymore.

CassandraSissy · 26-30, T

I think that happens with everyone, sweetie....

My parents, I don't really think they embarrassed me as such. Certainly not deliberately anyways. Probably more the other way around actually. They were cool when I decided I wanted to wear a dress, back in my early years, and actually supported that search for what my gender was.

You could say that my embarrassment from them was more finding out that the big, wide world out there wasn't quite so accepting of it all....so a little ridicule from others hit the spot and my confidence at times.

🤔

HootyTheNightOwl

Sure... that's part and parcel of growing up with a physicality abusive "father" and a sexually abusive mother.

GerOttman · 61-69, M

My mother was the source of most my embarrassments. She tended to be loud, obnoxious, and drunk. I grew up socially isolated, a loner, and very clumsy in most social relationships and situations. It's all still there, I've just gotten better at coping, concealing, and carrying on. It paid off during the pandemic, I was social distancing long before it was cool!

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@GerOttman my mom is also loud. She doesn’t have friends but ever since I was a kid when she would be around our family she would try to make them laugh even when I didn’t think it was funny.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

To tell u the truth I can't think of anything at all

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

Yeah. Once in elementary school my mother started beating me up at school much to the entertainment of my bully who snitched on me to my mother about me not doing my homework.
Just one of many weird instances

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@assemblingaknob really. That is weird.

TexChik · F

The only time they embarrassed me my fiance and I had driven up to discuss wedding plans. When it came time for bed, my mother assumed we were going to sleep together and started to make a fuss. I must have had fire in my eyes because she shushed mid sentence and went to bed. I finished clearing the air with her the next morning and she apologized. I gave my fiance my room and I slept on the couch.

Torsten · 36-40, M

no not really. I cant think of any time I was embarrassed by them growing up

SStarfish ·

Not as a child but as a young adult.. now im learning not to care 😅

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@SStarfish well that could be good or bad.

Reflection2 · M

Nope, they didn't. What ever I am, I am because of them.

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

They did each in radically different ways. I lost my mom 20 years ago but I definitely am a lot more sensitive and connected to my child's feelings and emotional needs than my parents were to me.
Some of how I am as an adult was shaped by my childhood traumas.

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@Starcrossed yes I feel that too.

MissPerfect · 22-25, F

Weeks ago I noticed a 14 year old girl ashamed to be seen with her father. He's the backwards cap and sunglasses type and tries his hand at jobs like restocking snack boxes in bars.

SW-User

No. At some points in my childhood I was kinda shy and a few things would embarrass me but not my parents in particular. They often respected my feelings.

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@SW-User That’s good. My older brothers, like any siblings would, did it too.

SW-User

I guess i lucked out, my parents never embarrassed me to any degree......to their dismay they gave me too much freedom as a young teen.

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@SW-User My mom gave me a lot of freedom but I think it was more because she didn’t care what any of her kids did.

scooogy · 31-35, MVIP

embarassed in what ways?

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@scooogy like pointing out your flaws in front of people, trying to make other people laugh at you, etc. for example, during my sons bday we had family come over my mom kept trying to make my husbands cousin laugh. During that Time I had a 2 month old baby so it was hard for me to relax and eat. So when I was able to go into the kitchen to eat real quick she was like I see u shoving ur face. His cousin just looked at my mom. Stuff like that. When I was a kid she would do other stuff. Not constant but enough to make me realize stuff. She even chuckled when my brothers were making fun of me because I had degrees from college but didn’t have a job. When I looked at her she stopped laughing.

scooogy · 31-35, MVIP

@Sunflower2021 I find it embarassing how my mother did her best to keep me from proper development during puberty, leaving permanent deficits.

V00doo

Even as an adult.

Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@V00doo same

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Sunflower2021 · 31-35, F

@Stereoguy I noticed that about me too, I am more caring. Thanks for sharing.

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