Question for those who get into relationships with someone with a child: So, I don't know if...

dragonfly46 · F Best Comment

Sometimes in these situations I view them in a business, legal, etiquette kind of way. She is your boyfriend's daughter, until marriage and then she will be your step-daughter.
Always encourage her when it comes to her mama, whether the woman is around or not. She is half of that woman, she dislikes that woman at all she will dislike the part of herself that is her mother. As guardians of children we should always lift up their beings, and teach them to love themselves.
Great question.

getmeouttahere · 36-40, F

If you marry them it’s a stepchild. Otherwise it’s your boyfriends kid.

This message was deleted.

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

Zeeeero! Welcome back. :D

Hmmm. Do you feel like you're their mother? If you feel like you're their mother, then call them your kids. If you feel like a step-mother, call them your step-kids. *shrug* Didn't put much thought into it, but seems legit. Step-kids or no, you can express the bond is deeper in other ways, and it might avoid more confusion?

Btw, I just stabbed you in the kneecap. I win again, and you never saw it coming. :D

SW-User

I have 2 stepsons from my marriage and still keep in contact with them though I've been divorced from their mother for 7 years.

I've referred to them as both and they've called me dad as they're biological father was never around.

They are mine in every sense other than on paper as I was there through their formative years. I was going to adopt them but we split up before.

However each situation is different perhapd ask your partner for their thoughts on this.

Johnbtexas · 51-55, M

It seems to me that's a decision only need to be made if marriage is involved. If not married it's your boyfriend's kid or engaged it's your fiance's kid. Once married a decision will be made whether they're going to be treated like and therefore referred to as your child or treated like and therefore referred to as a stepchild.

alabamasj · M

This Likely depends on the relationship you have with the child as well as the relationship you have with the child's parent. It could also be affected by the child's relationship with the other parent.

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

If the child has red hair you can beat them like a red headed step child. Or you can treat them as your own and give them the love they truly need.

Underconstruction · F

Yes, I believe you are over- thinking this.

The child has a biological parent.

You are the step mother, I don't think anyone is going to question that.

Leafeon · F

As long as the child and my husband are okay with me referring the child as my own, I will do so.

SW-User

It's nobody's business outside of the relationship