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My father is dying

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I’m going to miss the man, but he wasn’t and still isn’t, very nice to me. He’s not been very present in my life, and thinks that if he throws enough money at therapy and drugs that our relationship will get better. I disagree, but don’t really have a voice. My father was a military man, and from money, and thinks he runs everything. I called him today a bit earlier than I should’ve and when I realized this, hung up, as per his wishes, asking him to please call me when he has time. He texted me back and we spoke for a moment, the conversation ending with, “leave me alone, I’ll let you know when I have time for you”; making me wonder why he bothered saying anything in the first place. I mostly just feel bad for the guy, but he doesn’t make it very easy to be a good son either.
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@SomeMichGuy Excellent advice.
AccursedAlexander3 · 31-35, M
He’s not. He expects like absolute obedience and calls it a better relationship. But it’s better than nothing.
InHeaven · F
@AccursedAlexander3 well anyone who is dying is panicking and lost…. they are trying to control the situation and their emotions and their world and mental state and prevent it from totally falling apart …and a military man does nt know anything else but discipline and obedience. He is probably trying to hold on to the only ways he has learned in life and that are still left up to him, since the afterlife and whats ahead is completely unknown and probably scares him. Just do things his way without any attitude… and you will never regret it… after he is gone
eyeno · M
I can only say from my experience

Keep loving the man.
My mom told me back when I was a young adult, that he said, " I'd never amount to anything", being I was the problematic child.

Last years of his life, he told me, "he wished he'd spent more time with me", as family all shunned him.
A stranger told me he was proud of me and I was the only friend he had. I was surprised as I thought he had many growing up.

[media=https://youtu.be/xWJq1SvgWQ0]
InHeaven · F
If the old dying man is trying to make your relationship better… even by throwing money…. Accept it and give him credit. Maybe thats the only way he knows… and can not provide anything else for the relationship 🤔🤔🤔
smiler2012 · 56-60
@AccursedAlexander3 sorry too see you had a poor / father son relationship it was very much so the same with mydad he passed in 2014 and it broke my heart even whatgone before it took me months too really recover from it . what i am trying to say too you is what has happened he still is your dad and the thought of the bad times should not let you spend time with him . has a doctor not spoke too him on his condition yes you are right money is notv a cure all too every illness
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
You're allowed to feel whatever, you're not duty bound to anyone. I think that if it were me, I'd be sad at the idea of my father but I wouldn't punish myself for my other feelings. If he's not a nice person, he's not nice. You can't help your feelings on the matter
Coralmist · 41-45, F
I am sorry on both issues..that he is not doing well and that your relationship has not been the best. 😟 Positive wishes to you on both 🪻
AccursedAlexander3 · 31-35, M
@Coralmist thank you. It’s like a metaphor though. I just feel like I’m dead to him, and I’m trying to decide whether giving up is a good idea or not.
KiwiDan · 31-35, M
That's rough. I'm here if you want to talk (even if I never have much to say myself, still more than happy to listen).

 
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