My uncle told my brother and I that he plans to put my grandmother in a nursing home in the next week or so.
I figured this would be our last Christmas together. It makes me so sad. I know she's going to be incredibly sad. 😥
36-40, F
Top | Newest First | Oldest First
bowman81 · M
My father in law was in a rehab center while they were trying to find a place that would take him on a long term basis. He had dementia and after twice setting the house on fire (once putting an extra large bag of potato chips in the oven because he wanted a warm snack at 3am.) it was too much. He was not violent, but he was physically strong his wife couldn't control him when he needed it. He was also clever and would find a way to sneak the car keys and get "lost". The police would find him, out of gas, hundreds of miles from home.
Jim was a smoker and didn't react well to not being able to smoke in the center. Jim and some dozen or more other patients were found walking the streets 6 blocks from the center.....still dressed in the open backed hospital gowns and slippers, happily puffing on cigarettes. Somehow he found a way to bypass the door-locks and alarm. He had recruited fellow smokers and even a few who didn't smoke but thought it would be a nice break from the center and led the breakout. The party store clerk reported them after they convinced him to "donate" a couple of packs of cigarettes. (One regular and one menthol, don't you know)
Jim was finally placed in a nursing home. The family saw him regularly and we checked him out for family get togethers, birthdays, and holidays. Never overnight, but for a few hours anyway. It was heartbreaking, we had to all introduce ourselves to him. Jim was always pleasant and seemed happy to see us even if he didn't know who we were....Oh, and smoked like a chimney too.
Jim deteriorated rapidly as the Alzheimer's or whatever type of dementia progressed. His heart failed and he passed.
My point in all this is to try to make the best of the situation. Life hands us some awful challenges. All we can do is make the best of them. Do the best you can. We were lucky because Jim never lost his pleasant demeanor nor sense of humor. I like to remember his love of his family, especially the little children, his sense of humor, and him leading the "Great Escape".
Jim was a smoker and didn't react well to not being able to smoke in the center. Jim and some dozen or more other patients were found walking the streets 6 blocks from the center.....still dressed in the open backed hospital gowns and slippers, happily puffing on cigarettes. Somehow he found a way to bypass the door-locks and alarm. He had recruited fellow smokers and even a few who didn't smoke but thought it would be a nice break from the center and led the breakout. The party store clerk reported them after they convinced him to "donate" a couple of packs of cigarettes. (One regular and one menthol, don't you know)
Jim was finally placed in a nursing home. The family saw him regularly and we checked him out for family get togethers, birthdays, and holidays. Never overnight, but for a few hours anyway. It was heartbreaking, we had to all introduce ourselves to him. Jim was always pleasant and seemed happy to see us even if he didn't know who we were....Oh, and smoked like a chimney too.
Jim deteriorated rapidly as the Alzheimer's or whatever type of dementia progressed. His heart failed and he passed.
My point in all this is to try to make the best of the situation. Life hands us some awful challenges. All we can do is make the best of them. Do the best you can. We were lucky because Jim never lost his pleasant demeanor nor sense of humor. I like to remember his love of his family, especially the little children, his sense of humor, and him leading the "Great Escape".
View 1 more replies »
Mamapolo2016 · F
@perceptivei My mother escaped from a nursing home. She rolled out of the door after midnight in her wheelchair and raced away down the town’s main drag. The home was looking for her but the police found her, unharmed.
The officer said, “She’s such a nice lady. A real lady!”
She was. Her flight was actually to find someone to report her suspicions to. She thought the male patients were getting the nurses pregnant. There are times when it’s hard to determine who has dementia and who doesn’t.
The officer said, “She’s such a nice lady. A real lady!”
She was. Her flight was actually to find someone to report her suspicions to. She thought the male patients were getting the nurses pregnant. There are times when it’s hard to determine who has dementia and who doesn’t.
perceptivei · 36-40, F
@Mamapolo2016 Yeah. It's really sad.
dancingtongue · 80-89, M
@perceptivei It's hard, but if she has dementia and leaves supervision she needs she needs a locked unit and 24-hour care/supervision. My brother-in-law was in assisted care, and had not shown signs of dementia so wasn't in a locked unit. His daughter called, said his adult grandson was in town and they were coming over to have lunch with him. He got so excited, he got out of bed, dressed himself, got in his wheelchair, presumably got confused and went out to find them, left the facility when no one was looking. They called the police and found him a couple blocks away, toppled over in an intersection. Fortunately did not get hit, but took 18 stiches to close a stitch in his scalp and died later that died. As sad and hard it is, it is for her own good. As limited as her mobility may be and as hard as it may be to assist her, once she is in, if you can take her out for an hour or two occasionally it will make both of you feel better (even if she puts up an argument about going back). When my later partner was in Assisted Living I picked her up most days for a few hours at home each day to be in familiar surroundings, see her cat, etc. Despite the occasional argument over going back, it was good for both of us. I just could no longer do 24/7 like I had for my late wife previously.
Shybutwilling2bfriends · 61-69
4meAndyou · F
Being inside a nursing home doesn't mean that your grandmother is going to be sad. I worked in a nursing home for about a year and a half, and the people there make new friends, and have lots of activities. All while receiving the proper medical care!
The BIGGEST issue is that people from their families seem to forget about them, and seldom visit.
To my way of thinking, that is the next best thing to elder abuse. It is elder neglect.
The BIGGEST issue is that people from their families seem to forget about them, and seldom visit.
To my way of thinking, that is the next best thing to elder abuse. It is elder neglect.
anoderod55 · 61-69, M
@4meAndyou That is one of the big problems . Family puts them away then seldom visits if at all . Had so many people just wanting someone to talk and share with . One woman asked if i would bring her some lime jello . I saw her son and asked if okay . She loved her jello . ❤
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
perceptivei · 36-40, F
@2ndtimeguy I told my Dad about it. He said it's a death sentence.
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
@perceptivei my mother had dementia even with people staying with her it got worse and she wasnt safe
anoderod55 · 61-69, M
Tammylee14 · 22-25, F
therighttothink50 · 56-60, M
Become a caretaker, the government will pay you to do it.
Quimliqer · 70-79, M
Enjoy every minute!!
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
I feel for you..😷
This comment is hidden.
Show Comment