Thoughts on having kids..

Our kids are in their early 20s now; we have zero regrets. We knew in the early 2000s that TV & computers would eventually dominate our kids' lives so we did the best we could to entice them with the real world. Blocks, board games, Legos, bike riding, etc reading aloud for a half hour before bedtime; all these became important in the early years. One boy was a picky eater, so getting him involved in cooking eggs, oatmeal, steak, etc helped with that. We tried getting them into soccer, little league, etc, but those didn't do too well. Make it a regular habit to hear about your kids' day, friends, schoolwork, etc every day; that's how you'll know if a problem arises. Listen to them; listen especially if they suddenly go silent about something. When they are teens, make a pact: "if you need me to, I'll pick you up any time anywhere, no questions asked." Be ready for teenage involvement in booze & minor drugs; don't freak out, stay in communication. Raising kids isn't cheap or easy; it'll be your main focus for 18 or more years, and you need a stable foundation for kids.

On kids, Shakespeare missed the boat. He wrote about great loves, but never about the love of a parent for a child. The greatest love most of us will ever feel is for our kids; nothing else holds a candle to it. It won't be fully reciprocated; your kids will love you, but not the way you love them. Their greatest love will be reserved for their kids. It is a great and risky thing to love anyone that much. Loss of a child will likely ruin your life, and you don't have much control as they get older; that's the risk. The reward is it's an endless source of meaning and value in your life, an investment in the future, a source of pride, a reason for hope. The most important thing you'll ever do with your life is raise kids well.

It's a big decision ... And often it's taken out of your hands

I never thought I’d decide to have a child. My childhood was littered with sexual abuse, emotional neglect and learning how to bottle all the emotions up about those things so I wouldn’t seem in the way of others. I had this terrible anxiety of what could happen to any child and what sort of extreme reaction I might have if it happened to my child. The world in my opinion hasn’t ever been a place free of fear for our children. I can’t imagine people choosing to procreate in the dark ages. During the Great Depression or any other particularly difficult time in world history. Hope is greater than the fear though. I think it’s good people are taking the decision of whether or not to have kids seriously because it changes who you are and your life permanently and you don’t know what may impact your child as they grow. I love my son and I’m incredibly lucky to be his mother. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Best thing that has happened to me in my life.

i would love to have them, just not yet. it's a huge personal and financial commitment and i wanna wait until we are more comfortable. we don't want out future kids to go without.

I never wanted kids and had two the first when I was 30. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The world has always had its problems. I don't think it's any worse now than it was in the past.

My only worry having kids now, instead of 30 odd years ago would be social media and on line bullying.

I had 5 kids and i dont regret it at all

@heyitsemma I was 27 when I had my 1st child it was a very changing experience for me a year later I had my 2nd daughter it got a little easier but it can be challenging sometimes

Be your own kid. You won't need any then, no matter how much you crave.
Just live it off.

You have been thoroughly indoctrinated into the socialist mindset haven't you.

I'd only want one at most, if that. Imo this world needs less people. I'm not gonna bring anymore into it. I might adopt as there's always a kid that needs a home.

I'm with you. With all that's going on, I would be reluctant to have kids in this world, too. I do regret never getting married and having at least one child, though.

There's never a "perfect time to have children - it's usually a case of deciding whether or not to take the plunge.

Just if you plan on dating it becomes a bit of a thing like me you pretty much have to find people on the same page.

If it happens it happens. Although the thought of being a dad one day does kinda scare me.

I wasn't sure about having children too, but it was/is the best thing in my life.

I'm not having any. Worlds too fucked up