Thoughts on having kids..

Our kids are in their early 20s now; we have zero regrets. We knew in the early 2000s that TV & computers would eventually dominate our kids' lives so we did the best we could to entice them with the real world. Blocks, board games, Legos, bike riding, etc reading aloud for a half hour before bedtime; all these became important in the early years. One boy was a picky eater, so getting him involved in cooking eggs, oatmeal, steak, etc helped with that. We tried getting them into soccer, little league, etc, but those didn't do too well. Make it a regular habit to hear about your kids' day, friends, schoolwork, etc every day; that's how you'll know if a problem arises. Listen to them; listen especially if they suddenly go silent about something. When they are teens, make a pact: "if you need me to, I'll pick you up any time anywhere, no questions asked." Be ready for teenage involvement in booze & minor drugs; don't freak out, stay in communication. Raising kids isn't cheap or easy; it'll be your main focus for 18 or more years, and you need a stable foundation for kids.

On kids, Shakespeare missed the boat. He wrote about great loves, but never about the love of a parent for a child. The greatest love most of us will ever feel is for our kids; nothing else holds a candle to it. It won't be fully reciprocated; your kids will love you, but not the way you love them. Their greatest love will be reserved for their kids. It is a great and risky thing to love anyone that much. Loss of a child will likely ruin your life, and you don't have much control as they get older; that's the risk. The reward is it's an endless source of meaning and value in your life, an investment in the future, a source of pride, a reason for hope. The most important thing you'll ever do with your life is raise kids well.