Recently I've been filtering my words.

It's definitely something I've had to learn how to do. I don't think I realized the impact that my words had before. Maybe I just felt so worthless, why would anyone care what I said? Problems from growing up with careless drug addict absentee parents and practically raising myself I guess. Full of confusion and other negative feelings I couldn't identify at the time because I was not stable enough or educated enough, etc etc, to understand that it wasn't normal, maybe. Anyways. Ugh I've been such a mess of a person and just not even realizing it really because it's all I knew. I mean, I still am, who are we kidding. Anyway, I blab.

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Matt85 · 36-40, M

Just make sure you're not telling yourself off for things that aren't your fault.

WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F

@Matt85 this

WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F

You’re working on changing learned behaviors/habits. You weren’t given the tools as a child to feel stable and cope, but you’re working on yourself and breaking that cycle for your own child.

It’s hard work, and you should be proud of yourself for seeing where issues are and learning new ways to do things and carry yourself. Your child is lucky to have you, because as you know from your own childhood, not every parent is capable or even willing to do that.

Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

@WaryWitchWandering dude you're so great. I always appreciate your advice and feedback. Always makes me feel good 😊

Anyone in your life and especially your kids are extremely lucky to have yoooou!! No doubt.

WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F

@Notsimilarreally I hope so ❤️ thank you ☺️

bookerdana · M

This is a good kind of blab🙂

Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

@bookerdana thanks, true. I just feel the need to get these things off my chest, feels good

bookerdana · M

@Notsimilarreally you're doing great!

Viper · M

Words are powerful to those that listen to them, though more and more people don't listen.

That being said, babies always do... they might not understand, or might not follow, then again, maybe they do.

Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

@Viper babies are effected by energy for sure

thinkingoutloud · F

Self awareness is a wonderful thing, especially when you put your awareness into practice.
You can't hold yourself responsible for the time you didn't have this awareness.

Sojournersoul · M

Just means your are growing as a person

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

I understand what you mean. I went through a period where I didn’t filter my thoughts and words when I was hurting and I know I hurt people. It eats away at me.

Going through therapy for CPTSD from my childhood has really helped me see what words mean to people.

I am sorry that you had to grow up in those circumstances, I can relate to some of it as my parents both battled alcohol addictions.

This is a really meaningful post and you are doing well for recognizing it and making changes.

Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

@iamonfire696 thank you

Glad you did the therapy and it helped! Wish more people would

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Notsimilarreally Thank you. I know I said a mean comment to you here which I have felt bad for doing since I did it. I want to apologize to you for doing that. It’s haunted me for a few years now.

I am really glad you are getting help too. I am really sorry you had to grow up like that but you’re breaking that cycle for your son. You’re a very strong person 🩷.

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