Recently I've been filtering my words.

It's definitely something I've had to learn how to do. I don't think I realized the impact that my words had before. Maybe I just felt so worthless, why would anyone care what I said? Problems from growing up with careless drug addict absentee parents and practically raising myself I guess. Full of confusion and other negative feelings I couldn't identify at the time because I was not stable enough or educated enough, etc etc, to understand that it wasn't normal, maybe. Anyways. Ugh I've been such a mess of a person and just not even realizing it really because it's all I knew. I mean, I still am, who are we kidding. Anyway, I blab.

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iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

I understand what you mean. I went through a period where I didn’t filter my thoughts and words when I was hurting and I know I hurt people. It eats away at me.

Going through therapy for CPTSD from my childhood has really helped me see what words mean to people.

I am sorry that you had to grow up in those circumstances, I can relate to some of it as my parents both battled alcohol addictions.

This is a really meaningful post and you are doing well for recognizing it and making changes.

Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F

@iamonfire696 thank you

Glad you did the therapy and it helped! Wish more people would

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Notsimilarreally Thank you. I know I said a mean comment to you here which I have felt bad for doing since I did it. I want to apologize to you for doing that. It’s haunted me for a few years now.

I am really glad you are getting help too. I am really sorry you had to grow up like that but you’re breaking that cycle for your son. You’re a very strong person 🩷.