Overwhelmed by loneliness

@okaybut how did you dig yourself out of f that unhappiness?

@Lilliesandlight How horrible for your spouse to get so badly burned!
What happened?

Glad you boss understands.
I'm glad he/she stood up for you.
Are they behaving themselves now... ?
Would it be possible to ask them why? (They might not give and honest answer - but then again, it might be possible to learn something about their expectations or prejudices.)

It sounds as though things are getting a little better now.
Will your spouse eventually make a full recovery?

Is there any way you could get out to meet new people once a week - an evening or weekend class in some hobby, or a social coffee group?

@hartfire he was blasted with scalding hot water mixed with sand at an accident at work. Burns on half his body, multiple skin graft surgeries. It was really horrible. He's still getting surgeries cause his skin hasn't healed correctly.

I asked the queen bee at the office, and she gave me a bullshit answer. She and I were good friends at one point. She even threatened to quit her job when she heard I was leaving last year, cause of some other office drama. I thought we cleared the air, but she kept giving me the cold shoulder. So I've just accepted that she isn't my friend anymore. And there is nothing I can do about that, and I'm not about to beg for a toxic person to be in my life. She's very immature and spoiled.

I wouldn't know where to start to try to socialize. I've never been good at it, never had any real friends outside of work. I know if I tried to socialize outside of work hours I would be seen as selfish by my family. I'm supposed to be all work no play. My birthday is on Monday and I don't really want to make any attempt to celebrate, it just seems pointless.

@Lilliesandlight What a horrific accident! He must have suffered some pretty deep emotional trauma as well as the physical. When I had a major accident my body remembered the neath death experience and left me with strong reactivity to any situation resembling what happened - a form of PTSD.
I hope your husband is getting all his medical bills paid by workplace insurance.

I do think it's unfair for your family to expect you to be all work and no play. Caring is exhausting work and, without some regular time off, carers can burn out. How old are the other members of your family and what other time commitments do they have? Is there any way that some of them could take on a few hours per week of caring for your husband so you can go out and do something just for you.

The funny thing about socialising is one can let others do it for you. If you're with a regular group, let's say a pottery or drawing class, there'll usually be a tea break. Someone will make a comment about anything, and you can reply with whatever is your natural response. Someone might ask you about yourself - you reply and then ask them the same. It's a little like a friendly game of non-competitive tennis; someone serves and the goal is to hit the ball back to them.

You could try Edward de Bono's "How to Have a Beautiful Mind." In essence, it's about how to be an interesting conversationalist.

Showing empathy for people's feelings also goes a long way towards building rapport.

If the group develops a good vibe, they may wish to meet for a celebratory coffee after the course - or if there's a person there whom you feel warmly towards, you could invite them for a coffee.

Believe it or not, many people feel shy and awkward about making friends, fearing that others won't like them - yet we are a social species and we do thrive better when we have friends. Even one friend is better than none. If you're a natural introvert, you might be happy with just one to three or four close friends. It's definitely worth the effort, patience and persistence.

@megrose what is the group called?

@Lilliesandlight its just called caregiver support group and it has 23 K members. It is probably the best one

@megrose thanks, I'll check it out

@Eyeinthesky thanks, I appreciate your kindness.

@Lilliesandlight All I can offer is listening to you and reading what you have to say. 💞

@Eyeinthesky thanks dear, I really could benefit from having someone to talk to

@carpediem I'm so sorry about your wife, and all the pressure you are under. I don't understand how people can just turn their back on someone they supposedly care about when they are going through a really hard time. I really can't comprehend being that cruel.

@Lilliesandlight thanks

@akindheart I'm trying, I really am

@Lilliesandlight reach out to me if you need a shoulder. I have strong ones

@akindheart thank you so much

@Freetime thank you, I appreciate that

@SW-User thanks so much 🙂