Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Brother refuses to put aggressive pitbulls in different area for our small children during thanksgiving. Are we crazy to ask?

My brother is my ONLY relative that I would be able to see during the holidays. I was very excited to see him, and go over there for the holidays and bring food and stuff but they recently adopted a new pitbull, great pyranese mix. The dog is aggressive growling at us and our children the last time we saw them. They are never around small children and definitely haven’t been around a little toddler as young as ours.
He doesn’t see the dog as aggressive but also pointed out how it has torn the bottom of their sun loungers up and ripped up sprinkler heads. They not only have the one, but actually 2! The other regularly kills animals in their backyard. My brother thinks it’s normal and funny.

We have a 15 month old little boy who is also very busy and likes to get into everything. He pulls and tugs on our own little dogs tails and ears and really doesn’t have the ability to sit still long. We also have a 4 year old.

Out of concern and really just precaution more so about how our kids don’t really have the know how to act around dogs, I just asked if he could put the dogs in their covered patio area (completely sealed, and we are in Texas it’s going to be 70 degrees that day) we only plan to be there for an hour maybe 1.5 at the most. My brother refuses absolutely refuses to put the dogs outside or in another room while the kids are there.. he went another step saying that we are crazy and rude for asking that and that he 100% thinks our fears are irrational. He felt very strongly about it and I feel like it’s driving a wedge between us.

Very sad because he’s the only relative I have left in my family other than my husbands side. We aren’t asking him to get rid of the dogs or even keep them outside all day, just while the small kids are there for a very short period of time.

He was very offended by our ask and took it very personally. is this an absurd ask on our part? How can I get him to understand where we are coming from? He also refuses to meet anywhere else except his home.

We’ve made a decision not to go sadly and my brother doesn’t understand he just thinks that there has to be some other reason because he can’t believe we would be worried about the dogs.
Ynotisay · M
You were RIGHT on the money to make the request. No doubt at all. Not to be disrespectful but your brother sounds like he has his own issues. A responsible dog owner wouldn't think twice about doing what you asked. Pit bull or not....ALL dogs can bite and attack. That's a fact. And unless a dog is really well socialized and has been around children, and the children know how to be around dogs, it's way too big a risk.
Subsumedpat · 36-40, M
As he did not understand then I defiantly would not go. Combining the severity and frequency of biting data indicates that pit bulls, in cluding "pit bull-type" dogs, including American Pit Bull Terriers, Staffordshire Terriers, and American Staffordshire Terriers) and mixed breed dogs had the highest relative bite damage risk.
bgjb58 · M
You are crazy, for even considering taking your kids there! And I’m a dog lover!
robb65 · 56-60, M
Two or three things jump out at me about this post. The first being that while they may be aggressive pitbull/ great pyrenees mixes. these aren't "aggressive pitbulls". I'm not sure how well these mix, but I'd be at least as concerned about the great Pyrenees part, maybe more so. I've known of more than one great Pyrenees that had to be put down due to their aggressiveness.
Issue #2, "He doesn’t see the dog as aggressive but also pointed out how it has torn the bottom of their sun loungers up". One thing doesn't have anything to do with the other. Tearing things up doesn't say "aggressive", it says "puppy". Similarly, killing animals in their back yard doesn't translate to aggressive towards humans, or for that matter even all animals. I've had dogs that would kill every possum they found crossing the yard but wouldn't harm a kitten, and the small stray dog we picked up in the middle of the road they mostly ignored.

I'm not saying you are wrong to ask, or even stay home if you aren't comfortable, but is it possible that maybe your brothers dogs aren't aggressive but are puppies doing normal puppy things and your brother is a bit puzzled by the fact that you see his mutts as "aggressive pitbulls"?
@robb65

But if the dogs have not been around small children then killing small animals could easily translate to an attack on a kid. Especially since the dog is "recently" adopted so who knows how well the brother actually knows the dog. People can be awfully blind about that sort of thing.
And she said the dogs were growling at her family which at the very least means the dogs don't trust them and a nervous dog is a potentially dangerous dog.

I'm with @Brassm0nk3y
Not worth the risk. Maybe the dogs would be fine....but maybe something happens that no one can take back. I wouldn't feel comfortable.
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
I fully agree with everything he just said, I've had dogs all my life, I love them, but each one is very different, and with different stimuli can be very different. some dogs are great but hate children. my dog wasn't crazy about kids, didn't attack them , but tried her best to avoid them altogether @robb65
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
Just don’t go. His house his rules.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
@Brassm0nk3y Family sucks sometimes. Actually a lot of the time
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
@MrBrownstone sadly this is true. Glad not to be alone in it!
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Brassm0nk3y your brother made his choice. You have to protect the children
IMO pit bulls are dangerous dogs snd you can’t put trust in them. Too many stories of those who haven been attacked and been killed.
Do not put your family at risk.
You've made the right decision. Don't risk your children's safety by succumbing to pressure. Your children will thank you even if the brother does not.
Rokasu · 36-40, M
If the dogs have zero training around humans, then you have a genuine concern. If they're used to humans, and somewhat trained to respond/behave accordingly, the concern is no longer the dog but how the children handle the dog.

Not all dogs are patient with kids. Not all kids know how to handle dogs. If you suspect your kiddos are not dog-savvy, you're better off not going. All it takes is one "play hit" from a kid and the dog could snap at them. Most they'll get a warning scratch. Worst they'll get is a bite that could lead to serious infection.

This isn't even just aggressive, untrained dogs. Some dogs just don't like kids. Never let your kids go near a dog you don't trust (Which should be most dogs). Always be cautious.

And for the record, you should always ask permission to approach an owner's dog. They can give you all the details upfront. Better than a potential ER trip and them having to legally put down their dog.
Scribbles · 36-40, F
Some people will never believe something could happen until after it happens. Even then some people will feel guilty and then take a hard left into blaming someone else. Hopefully your brother is not like that. I think you are right to want to protect the kids and asking someone to have their seemingly aggressive dogs somewhere else for an hour is not asking too much of someone. Espeically if you have a kid who is not going to be happy to sit in your arms or in your lap all of that hour. He's kind of an idiot uncle to care more about his doggos then your kid.

Here's what I would do: I'd leave the kid with your partner or some other family member and go to your brother's and bring a stuffed baby doll and interact with the dog like a real toddler would and let your brother see how the dog would react.
Ontheroad · M
Sad to say but he is the one being ridiculous. You asked for a reasonable consideration and he reused, he in effect told you he puts his pet before your relationship. That is on him.
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
take him out to a restaurant, spend 1.5 hours, then go your way. problem solved.
Wow, how about not going to his place for thanksgiving?
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
Are we crazy to ask?

No. And if he won't secure the dogs you would be crazy to go!
Quimliqer · 70-79, M
He doesn’t appear to be a responsible pet owner!!
Fluffybull · F
You're absolutely in the right. If he's expecting you to choose between him and your children's safety of course you will choose your children 👍
Classified · M
If he can't believe it, he can test it out by putting the dogs in their covered patio area and see whether you'll come. 🤷‍♂️
Confined · 56-60, M
I would not go either. You made the right choice.
You're crazy to go anywhere near them
No, you’re not crazy to ask ! His offense makes no sense if he’s already mentioned that they’re destructive to his property and dangerous to other animals. And his refusal to even consider putting his dogs in another room for the brief time of your visit, is irresponsible. If it was important to him to see you, either that or meeting you at another location wouldn’t be a problem.
He’s being unreasonable, not you. You’re doing what you must for the safety of your children, which is perfectly understandable. Sorry that he’s given you no other option. 🥺
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
He thinks it’s funny that the one dog kills animals in the back yard and then thinks that these dogs would be fine around small children.

The dogs do need to be outside because they are big so I don’t understand why they couldn’t be outside while you are there.

He’s being unreasonable, I wouldn’t go and put my kids in harms way.

 
Post Comment