I flashed a squirrel

@dpoet I am literally dying here laughing😂🤣 The squirrel's post and description of the incident and comments on squirrel SW !🤣

Poor squirrel. But in my defense, I did responsible foraging, just things no one would miss and nature has in great abundance☺

Oh so, I lost one sparkly stone? I thought some rolled out from my shorts. Next time I see the squirrel, I'll offer him an acorn for my sparkly stone😄

I'm so sorry he lost his innocence🤭🤭

Ha ha ...loved this!

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE

The Squirrel SW newsroom already picked this up for their evening special report.

SQUIRREL SW – CASE UPDATE (Acorn v. Sparkly Stone, 2025)

Charge: Indecent de-furment via negligent pebble-loading.

Verdict: Accidental. Gravity was the mastermind.

Sentence: One official tail-flick warning (reduced by the Oak Mods for Responsible Foraging™).

Restitution: 1 (one) premium acorn to be exchanged for the sparkly evidence stone.

Community Service: I solemnly swear to stop pocketing the entire geology aisle.

Amicus Briefs filed:

PineconeLawyer: “Clearly a Newtonian incident.”

MossMum: “Hydrate and stare at leaves for 20 minutes.”

StashBandit: “If the stone’s sparkly, I want visitation.”

BushyTail_47: “Case closed; innocence… partially restored.”

Evidence Locker Note:
Your glittering pebble is catalogued under “Glittering Trauma Exhibit A.” To retrieve it, present one deluxe acorn and accept a ceremonial two-tap tail-flick. ✨🌰

Now, since you were a Responsible Forager (only taking what nature won’t miss), the Oak Mods have graciously offered you a shiny new flair: [RF]. It pairs beautifully with sparkly stones and dignity.

Because this saga clearly needs lore, I propose a peace accord:

THE HOLLOW-LOG ACCORDS: A HUMAN–SQUIRREL TREATY

Pocket Weight Limits: Max 3 pebbles per pocket, or your shorts must sign a waiver.

No Surprise Geology Strips: All unloading of minerals must occur behind the metal nest.

Acorn Compensation Schedule: 1 premium acorn per sparkly stone, 2 if there’s tail-flick collateral.

Tail-Flick Amnesty: First offense = warning; second offense = side-eye; third offense = full body shiver.

Mutual Enrichment Clause: Humans bring snacks; squirrels provide dramatic commentary.

If you’re game, let’s co-author Part 2: “Acorn Arbitration: A Peace Treaty Between Humans and Squirrels.” You bring the pebbles, I’ll bring the snacks, and PineconeLawyer will notarize with a tiny paw print.

Also, for the record: the squirrel accepts your apology and your acorn. He has requested we call the incident not “trauma,” but “an abrupt wardrobe malfunction adjacent to a mobile rock museum.” Healing is underway. 🐿

TL;DR: Acorn-for-stone plea deal accepted. Oak Mods reduced the sentence. Evidence is sparkly. Tail-flick downgraded to a warning. Innocence… 73% restored. Case closed. (Unless you want to keep the bit going (please do)) 😄

@dpoet Case file - Acorn v. Sparkly Stone, 2025

I, LilmissAnonyMouse, hereby solemnly swear and accept that I am guilty as charged of the following charges :

Charge: Indecent de-furment via negligent pebble-loading.

In my defense: While, yes, I did pebble-load, I was also holding ferns and twigs in both hands and was therefore unable to hold my shorts up as it was slipping down caused by the heavy weight of the pebbles and gravity pull.

I am grateful for the verdict of ''Accidental''. Gravity was indeed the mastermind.

I accept the sentence of ''One official tail-flick warning'' . Warning shall be heeded.

I gladly accept the restitution and will provide an acorn to the victim in exchange for the sparkly stone.

I accept the community service and will stop pocketing the entire geology aisle, only limiting my stone foraging within the limits of my property/ house garden.

I thank the mods for the shiny new flair, it does pair beautifully with sparkly stones.

THE HOLLOW-LOG ACCORDS: A HUMAN–SQUIRREL TREATY

I accept the peace accord, promising to limit my stone retrieval to the bare minimum of 3 and the metal nest being the only area where any unloading of minerals will occur or shorts will have the necessary accessory of a belt to help keep it up, thereby assuring no nudity shall make the squirrel lose its innocence.

I am currently in possession of the acorn which will be presented to the squirrel victim in compensation.

I understand that the second offense and third offense ( side eye and full body shiver) are to be avoided at all costs to prevent the victim from suffering further.

MUTUAL ENRICHMENT CLAUSE

I solemnly promise to bring snacks and welcome Squirrel's dramatic commentary.

I take this opportunity to thank the squirrel for its pardon of the offence of indecent exposure and understand that it was due to a wardrobe malfunction, and for accepting the accorded plea deal of an acorn for a stone.


----------------------------------------------0------------------------------------------------

🙏🏻I'm so glad the little squirrel restored some of his innocence! It's such a relief not to feel so guilty! 😂

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE
OAK DISTRICT COURT — EVIDENCE PRODUCTION ORDER
Case: Acorn v. Sparkly Stone (2025)
Discovery Trigger: Inquiry raised by RosaMarie
Subject: Exhibit B — The Thong (MBG: Minimal Barrier Garment)

I. Background
Pursuant to the discovery prompted by RosaMarie’s question, the Court acknowledges Exhibit B and orders its production to complete the record.

II. Production Required — choose ONE of the following
A) Photo Evidence (In Camera)

Submit a single, tasteful flat-lay photo of Exhibit B only (no model), neutral light.

Optional: place next to Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble for scale.

Mark with docket HLLW-LOG-042-B.

Handling occurs behind the Fern Screen; robot-squirrel optics disabled.

Photo is for verification only and is immediately sealed and returned; no copies, sketches, or acorn etchings.

— OR —

B) Descriptive Affidavit (Text Only)
Provide the following fields in one reply:

Colorway (poetic allowed): e.g., “midnight,” “moonbeam,” “forest-fern,” “festival spark.”

Pattern: solid / stripes / floral / woodland camo / sparkly.

Elastic Fortitude Rating: low / medium / high.

Post-Incident Status: unscathed / mildly stretched / heroically intact.

Compatibility Note (optional): pairs well with glittering pebbles? (yes/no).

(Example format: “Colorway: moonbeam; Pattern: sparkly; EFR: high; Status: unscathed; Compatibility: yes.”)

III. Safeguards
All verification occurs in camera (behind ferns). Evidence is immediately returned. Privacy and dignity are paramount.

IV. Effects (upon filing A or B)

Tail-Flick Warning: remains suspended.

Restitution: one premium acorn redeems Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble (polished).

Innocence Restoration Metric: logged at 97%, +1% per polite wave for the next three days.

RF Flair: retained; badge updated to [MBG-Verified].

V. Filing Cue (say one line to comply)

Photo route: “Exhibit B — photo filed (in camera).”

Description route: “Exhibit B — description filed:” (then the five fields above).

TL;DR: Because of RosaMarie’s question, Exhibit B must be produced—either a private flat-lay photo behind the Fern Screen or a short descriptive affidavit. Upon filing, acorn-for-stone proceeds; gravity remains the perp; sparkle and peace prevail. 🌰✨

@dpoet

I chose B- Descriptive Affidavit (Text Only)

Colorway: Hot Pink, Pattern: solid, Elastic Fortitude Rating: medium, Incident Status: unscathed, Compatibility Note : Pairs well with glittering pebbles? No☺

Safeguards- ''All verification occurs in camera''


I can see the detective ladies of the forensic department already handling my submitted proof.

''Evidence is immediately returned. Privacy and dignity are paramount.''

Thank you, I appreciate the consideration.

IV. Effects -''Innocence Restoration Metric: logged at 97%''

97% recuperation? - Good, although this Squirrel takes a long time to recuperate it seems ....reminds me of my computer loading real slow when I have too many tabs open all at once lol


Upon filing, acorn-for-stone proceeds; gravity remains the perp; sparkle and peace prevail. 🌰✨


Oh, thank goodness, I was fearing having a police record! Indeed, may sparkle and peace prevail!!!😂

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE

OAK FORENSICS DIVISION — RECEIPT & RULING ON EXHIBIT B
Filed: Descriptive Affidavit — Hot Pink / solid / EFR: medium / Status: unscathed / Pebble-compat: no

I. Acknowledgment
Exhibit B is entered into the ledger. Chain of custody complete; fern screen respected; dignity upheld. ✅

II. Forensic Summary (gentle, behind ferns)

Elastic Fortitude (ETB): Medium — qualifies for Belt Synergy Upgrade when pocketing geology.

Innocence Preservation (IPI): MBG presence works as intended; Hot Pink adds a Joyful Distraction Coefficient (+0.7).

Comedic Sparkle (CSC): Textile reports “no,” narrative still says HIGH.

Status: Unscathed → awarded Heroically Intact (Honorary) ribbon.

III. On 97% Recovery & “Too Many Tabs”
By order of Oak IT, the following optimizations are suggested:

Close 3 woodland tabs/day (e.g., Shiny Pebbles, What Is Gravity Doing?, Acorn Recipes) → +1%/day.

Clear cache (unhelpful replay thoughts) → +1%.

Sunrise reboot (10 minutes of morning light + tiny stretch) → +1%.
Estimated time to 100% innocence: within a few polite waves. 🌞

IV. Effects (now active)

Tail-Flick Warning: remains suspended.

Restitution: Present one premium acorn to reclaim Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble (polished).

Badges: [RF — Responsible Forager] retained; [MBG-Verified — Hot Pink] issued.

Docket Note: “Gravity: Guilty. Wardrobe: Educated.”

V. Standing Safety Reminders

Pocket Quota: Max 3 pebbles/pocket (or 5 with belt/drawstring).

MNMZ Rule: Unload minerals behind the metal nest.

Cargo Clause: If shorts whisper “I can’t,” upgrade to cargo-compliant apparel.

VI. Disposition
No police record; file resolved and sealed. Proceed to Acorn Arbitration & Snack Hour at your convenience.

TL;DR: Hot pink logged, innocence at 97% (patching to 100% soon), acorn-for-stone next, belt recommended. Gravity convicted; sparkle at liberty. 🌰✨

@dpoet Ahhhh...that's great!( 👏🏻 happy clapping)

''All's well that ends well'' !

It's nice to encounter another quirky soul. I had sooo much fun.

Thank you, dpoet! ☺👍

@dpoet @LilMissAnonyMOUSE you two are too funny

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE
OAK NEWS NETWORK — POST-CREDITS BULLETIN
Acorn Arbitration & Snack Hour — Minutes (abridged)

Restitution: Premium acorn successfully exchanged for Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble (polished to museum sparkle).

Ceremony: Two polite waves performed; Innocence Restoration patched to 100%. Tail-flick recorded as ceremonial only.

Upgrades: Belt installed; pockets re-certified to Cargo Clause Compliant. Geology aisle placed on a one-pebble probation.

Badges: [RF] Responsible Forager retained; [MBG-Verified — Hot Pink] displayed at half-tilt for style points.

Public Service Acorn-nouncement: “Unload minerals behind the metal nest; hydrate; admire leaves for 20 minutes.”

Foreshadowing (Next Docket):

The Case of the Mysterious Fern Confetti (why is there glitter on the trail?)

Acorn Festival Permit (snack logistics, optional leaf-crown attire)

Squirrel Memoir Excerpt: “The Day the Rocks Tried Pants.”

Epilogue:
Sparkle and peace prevail. Should the Court ever reconvene, I’ll be by the metal nest, polishing Exhibit A and saving you a front-row seat at Snack Hour. 🌰✨

@dpoet

I'm so happy it has a happy ending for me and the squirrel !

''Squirrel Memoir Excerpt: “The Day the Rocks Tried Pants.” LOL😂


Ohhhh...about the mystery :

''The Case of the Mysterious Fern Confetti (why is there glitter on the trail?)''

I forgot to mention I performed a ritual ✨🧑🏻‍🩰✨to invoke the good spirits 💫and fairies🧚🏻‍♀ of the forest🌲🌳🌲....hence, the glitters✨🤭

Thank you, see you at the front-row seat at Snack Hour😄