I flashed a squirrel

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE

The Squirrel SW newsroom already picked this up for their evening special report.

SQUIRREL SW – CASE UPDATE (Acorn v. Sparkly Stone, 2025)

Charge: Indecent de-furment via negligent pebble-loading.

Verdict: Accidental. Gravity was the mastermind.

Sentence: One official tail-flick warning (reduced by the Oak Mods for Responsible Foraging™).

Restitution: 1 (one) premium acorn to be exchanged for the sparkly evidence stone.

Community Service: I solemnly swear to stop pocketing the entire geology aisle.

Amicus Briefs filed:

PineconeLawyer: “Clearly a Newtonian incident.”

MossMum: “Hydrate and stare at leaves for 20 minutes.”

StashBandit: “If the stone’s sparkly, I want visitation.”

BushyTail_47: “Case closed; innocence… partially restored.”

Evidence Locker Note:
Your glittering pebble is catalogued under “Glittering Trauma Exhibit A.” To retrieve it, present one deluxe acorn and accept a ceremonial two-tap tail-flick. ✨🌰

Now, since you were a Responsible Forager (only taking what nature won’t miss), the Oak Mods have graciously offered you a shiny new flair: [RF]. It pairs beautifully with sparkly stones and dignity.

Because this saga clearly needs lore, I propose a peace accord:

THE HOLLOW-LOG ACCORDS: A HUMAN–SQUIRREL TREATY

Pocket Weight Limits: Max 3 pebbles per pocket, or your shorts must sign a waiver.

No Surprise Geology Strips: All unloading of minerals must occur behind the metal nest.

Acorn Compensation Schedule: 1 premium acorn per sparkly stone, 2 if there’s tail-flick collateral.

Tail-Flick Amnesty: First offense = warning; second offense = side-eye; third offense = full body shiver.

Mutual Enrichment Clause: Humans bring snacks; squirrels provide dramatic commentary.

If you’re game, let’s co-author Part 2: “Acorn Arbitration: A Peace Treaty Between Humans and Squirrels.” You bring the pebbles, I’ll bring the snacks, and PineconeLawyer will notarize with a tiny paw print.

Also, for the record: the squirrel accepts your apology and your acorn. He has requested we call the incident not “trauma,” but “an abrupt wardrobe malfunction adjacent to a mobile rock museum.” Healing is underway. 🐿

TL;DR: Acorn-for-stone plea deal accepted. Oak Mods reduced the sentence. Evidence is sparkly. Tail-flick downgraded to a warning. Innocence… 73% restored. Case closed. (Unless you want to keep the bit going (please do)) 😄

@dpoet Case file - Acorn v. Sparkly Stone, 2025

I, LilmissAnonyMouse, hereby solemnly swear and accept that I am guilty as charged of the following charges :

Charge: Indecent de-furment via negligent pebble-loading.

In my defense: While, yes, I did pepple-load, I was also holding ferns and twigs in both hands and was therefore unable to hold my shorts up as it was slipping down caused by the heavy weight of the pebbles and gravity pull.

I am grateful for the verdict of ''Accidental''. Gravity was indeed the mastermind.

I accept the sentence of ''One official tail-flick warning'' . Warning shall be heeded.

I gladly accept the restitution and will provide an acorn to the victim in exchange for the sparkly stone.

I accept the community service and will stop pocketing the entire geology aisle, only limiting my stone foraging within the limits of my property/ house garden.

I thank the mods for the shiny new flair, it does pair beautifully with sparkly stones.

THE HOLLOW-LOG ACCORDS: A HUMAN–SQUIRREL TREATY

I accept the peace accord, promising to limit my stone retrieval to the bare minimum of 3 and the metal nest being the only area where any unloading of minerals will occur or shorts will have the necessary accessory of a belt to help keep it up, thereby assuring no nudity shall make the squirrel lose its innocence.

I am currently in possession of the acorn which will be presented to the squirrel victim in compensation.

I understand that the second offense and third offense ( side eye and full body shiver) are to be avoided at all costs to prevent the victim from suffering further.

MUTUAL ENRICHMENT CLAUS

I solemnly promise to bring snacks and welcome Squirrel's dramatic commentary.

I take this opportunity to thank the squirrel for its pardon of the offence of indecent exposure and understand that it was due to a wardrobe malfunction, and for accepting the accorded plea deal of acorn for stone.


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🙏🏻I'm so glad the little squirrel restored some of his innocence! It's such a relief not to feel so guilty! 😂

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE
OAK DISTRICT COURT — EVIDENCE PRODUCTION ORDER
Case: Acorn v. Sparkly Stone (2025)
Discovery Trigger: Inquiry raised by RosaMarie
Subject: Exhibit B — The Thong (MBG: Minimal Barrier Garment)

I. Background
Pursuant to the discovery prompted by RosaMarie’s question, the Court acknowledges Exhibit B and orders its production to complete the record.

II. Production Required — choose ONE of the following
A) Photo Evidence (In Camera)

Submit a single, tasteful flat-lay photo of Exhibit B only (no model), neutral light.

Optional: place next to Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble for scale.

Mark with docket HLLW-LOG-042-B.

Handling occurs behind the Fern Screen; robot-squirrel optics disabled.

Photo is for verification only and is immediately sealed and returned; no copies, sketches, or acorn etchings.

— OR —

B) Descriptive Affidavit (Text Only)
Provide the following fields in one reply:

Colorway (poetic allowed): e.g., “midnight,” “moonbeam,” “forest-fern,” “festival spark.”

Pattern: solid / stripes / floral / woodland camo / sparkly.

Elastic Fortitude Rating: low / medium / high.

Post-Incident Status: unscathed / mildly stretched / heroically intact.

Compatibility Note (optional): pairs well with glittering pebbles? (yes/no).

(Example format: “Colorway: moonbeam; Pattern: sparkly; EFR: high; Status: unscathed; Compatibility: yes.”)

III. Safeguards
All verification occurs in camera (behind ferns). Evidence is immediately returned. Privacy and dignity are paramount.

IV. Effects (upon filing A or B)

Tail-Flick Warning: remains suspended.

Restitution: one premium acorn redeems Exhibit A: Glittering Pebble (polished).

Innocence Restoration Metric: logged at 97%, +1% per polite wave for the next three days.

RF Flair: retained; badge updated to [MBG-Verified].

V. Filing Cue (say one line to comply)

Photo route: “Exhibit B — photo filed (in camera).”

Description route: “Exhibit B — description filed:” (then the five fields above).

TL;DR: Because of RosaMarie’s question, Exhibit B must be produced—either a private flat-lay photo behind the Fern Screen or a short descriptive affidavit. Upon filing, acorn-for-stone proceeds; gravity remains the perp; sparkle and peace prevail. 🌰✨

@Wolf38g That's what I literally said 😂

@romell No, I had thongs on....I didn't feel too naked haha

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE you save a squirrel else would have had a heart attack from the pussy it would have seen lol

@romell 🐿 The Squirrel seemed perfectly fine, thank goodness!☺

@ChipmunkErnie I'm sure I was the topic that evening lol

@Pretzel I guess that's what his flicking tail meant lol

@RosaMarie Oh...okay then, that's fine ☺

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE I like the thong.

@RosaMarie Thank you😊

@mrh1972 don't be racist

@dpoet You guys make me crack up lol

@JackDaniels Ha ha...He got flashed a bit of skin (I had thongs under my shorts)☺

@SinlessOnslaught Ha ha ha... my post about getting into the wrong car! How can I forget that ! True, this time there was only 1 car..no mistaking that lol😂

@LilMissAnonyMOUSE Yes that should make things easy for you.

Emphasis on SHOULD, Sacagawea 😜

@SinlessOnslaught True lol😂