Is bard a hobbit?
This is not a straightforward question, we must weigh up the evidence to determine @CaptainBard’s species.
Exhibit a - his height! Now sure he’s a short arse who is vertically challenged, but this is not proof enough, many creatures are small…dwarves, Oompa Loompas, fairies (although he is fond of wearing a tutu he does lack the sparkly wings).
Exhibit b - his tenacity! Everyone knows him as a feisty little firecracker! Hobbits are tenacious creatures, the determination and courage needed to reach Mordor proved that. Personality wise it’s definitely likely.
Exhibit c - his neatly combed toes! Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to stumble upon his only fans “Bard’s Toes” know that this is his proudest asset. Sure it makes him a living but the halfling has no shame and all that toe hair does mean he has a slight wet dog smell to him.
Exhibit d - his precious! It’s true this weird little dude has an unhealthy obsession with jewellery. It used to be kinda cute until he started walking it up volcanoes.
Weighing up all of the evidence the only conclusion that could possibly be reached is that Bard is in fact a hobbit!
The cat says he’s also a dickhead! 🐱
Exhibit a - his height! Now sure he’s a short arse who is vertically challenged, but this is not proof enough, many creatures are small…dwarves, Oompa Loompas, fairies (although he is fond of wearing a tutu he does lack the sparkly wings).
Exhibit b - his tenacity! Everyone knows him as a feisty little firecracker! Hobbits are tenacious creatures, the determination and courage needed to reach Mordor proved that. Personality wise it’s definitely likely.
Exhibit c - his neatly combed toes! Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to stumble upon his only fans “Bard’s Toes” know that this is his proudest asset. Sure it makes him a living but the halfling has no shame and all that toe hair does mean he has a slight wet dog smell to him.
Exhibit d - his precious! It’s true this weird little dude has an unhealthy obsession with jewellery. It used to be kinda cute until he started walking it up volcanoes.
Weighing up all of the evidence the only conclusion that could possibly be reached is that Bard is in fact a hobbit!
The cat says he’s also a dickhead! 🐱
