So, Prince Andrew is apparently returning to Royal duties on Monday...

...after having secret meetings with the Queen (a frail, 96-year old woman) since testing positive for Covid just a few short days ago, meaning he had to conveniently miss the Jubilee

Hmm, well I wish I'd thought of the Covid excuse when I was trying to get out of going to my parents' friends Jubilee garden party. Still, I haven’t just paid £12m to an accuser who accused me of sexually assaulting her when underage, so swings and roundabouts and all that...