Talk about the end or no

I'm visiting with my dad, he's so weak from cancer, he can barely talk every couple hours. I have not been talking about Heaven or him leaving earth in any way. I know he's sad and nervous of how aggressive this cancer is. Should I say You'll always be with us? I did last week in passing quickly, but I want to say it again. He could pass any day. Or just hold his hand and say we love you???

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Boeing · 36-40

You are going through such a hard times, thank you for sharing with us...it gives us warmth, sadness and insight. That is about nearing the end isn't it...you grow in the feeling of loss and you grow in compassion too... These period is so dense, that things are transformed, words are transformed ..as long as you are there that is already enough.
Maybe you could put a song for him to listen, you can ask him if he'd like to listen to some particular songs..
You could even read to him something, I am not sure about that, but maybe...

I have accompanied an older friend to his dying and a relative of his that couldn't be present, his son actually, send a letter and I read it to him.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Boeing Ty friend 🌟I've been holding his hand, playing soft music too. And he even watched a movie for ten minutes earlier. That was big. I truly hope he can live even a couple more days. I just want to tell him he's not truly leaving this world.

Boeing · 36-40

@Coralmist yes I understand... and at the same time you need to let him go, you know... Give him time to reflect, to slow down and prepare. Do not worry that he is not much communicative, nor try to keep him in this world, he needs to slow down for his transition to be smooth..to hover in the in between... I know it is incredibly hard, my heart goes out to you. Reading your words I feel how he receives your love and he received the message how he is and have been much loved and that is the most incredible gift you've offered him..
I hope what I am sharing is okay and not too much..

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Boeing Yes its really hard letting go. Out of both parents at least I could ask him advice sometimes. I can't ever do that with my. Mom. So this is difficult 😞 Ty for your words♥

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

I did a bit of research to see what specialists say about this topic. apparently they generally advise against forced optimisms, advising more to be present and follow their lead. if he seems to like to talk about something, extend on that. they say remembering good times brings a lot of peace and closure. so maybe if he's not taking the lead much with the talking, talk about good times, funny anecdotes.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@reflectingmonkey Ty friend. I did hold his hand and he took my hand and kissed it. He has not done that in many years..😔 We talked of memories too but he's so weak he could only nod sometimes. Then he awoke an hour ago and saw the TV and said , this is a good movie.
I just wanted to tell him basically, I'll still talk to you no matter where you go from this earth. But I just left and didn't say it. It's really hard to say goodbye, and I don't want him to feel fear too

Stephie · 22-25, F

Just hold his hand so he can feel your physical closeness.

Speaking these words seem to make that dreaded moment so definite and so imminent. A physical contact and a soothing voice may possibly keep him less stressed than to know that his final day is now fast approaching.

Perhaps you can try to find something positive for him to reminisce about.

Pretzel · 70-79, M

I"d make sure he knew he was loved

that his efforts were appreciated

that he is a good dad

talk about good memories that he gave you

tell him he doesn't have to talk if he'snot up to it.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

We@Pretzel Yes luckily I told him already of our happy memories, and that we love him. But I want to say wherever he's going next, he'll be with me. I kind of said it fast last week, but it's really hard saying goodbye. 🙁 He can still talk and hear us. I guess I just need to reassure myself I can still talk to him when he's not physically here anymore ☹

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

In my humble opinion, all he needs right now is peace and love. Whatever his beliefs are, they are. Hold his hand, make him comfortable, provide him with stress-free human contact. You will be blessed for this.

❤🙏❤

FrugalNoodle · 46-50, M

Hold his hand and say we love you seems best imo The phrase always be with us can mean living on in our hearts and minds, which is a good sentiment too imo

eyeno · M

I'm so sorry Ms. Coral,
I am with you in spirit and prayer

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Guardian

Hold his hand and say I love you!

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

Nothing you do in love will be wrong

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