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Chemo, vs. nothing?

My dad, who was diagnosed last week with an aggressive form of cancer, Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, has a choice of low dose chemotherapy or no treatment. They do not recommend the low dose currently, Bec even low dose "may" cause infection that can sometimes be fatal. They said hes very compromised being a stroke victim.
But they said we can always get another oncologist who would be ok with doing treatment. It can potentially eradicate much of the cancer.

OR, the option is to not treat it and go into palliative care. I asked how long he might have, they said anything from several weeks to a few months 🙁 My dad initially refused treatment, but after we discussed further, he said hed like to try treatment, and if hes too ill he'll stop.
What might you choose /hope for a loved one? (Of course it's their actual choice overall)
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TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
I wouldn't do chemo myself, but then again I never needed it so it's only speculation on my part. I might feel differently if I ever do need it.


My biological dad declined chemo when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.
His reasoning: it would give him a few weeks longer, at best.

He passed away about 3 months later. I met him for the 2nd time ever a week prior to his passing. It gave us both closure. But that's unrelevant to your question. I just wanted to share it.
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
@TheRealBarbossa Closure is important for all, but so comforting when there have been difficult circumstances leading up to a final irrevocable separating.
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
@FreddieUK he and mom split up when I was 1 and mom was 3 months pregnant with their 2nd.

Mon always trash talked him every chance she got. Still does.

But I find it hard to blame him after meeting him the 2nd time (1st time didn't go well)
He never said anything negative about mom, nor did he brag about himself to make him seem greater than he was.
He simply wanted to get to know me as a person, and make sure I was doing alright in life.

His wife was by his side when I visited him that time, and she kept bragging about him, but he didn't want her to.

When it was time for me to leave (he lived 8h away and I didn't have a lot of time to stay there) he did everything in his power to make me stay "just a little longer"
I stayed 3h longer than planned.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@TheRealBarbossa I guess I'm learning that while treatment SEEMED great to me at first, like why not attack it in any way???? I'm seeing that chemotherapy truly is very toxic, so for someone as weak and compromised as my dad, it could very well kill him prior to just passing natural ly. I'm so glad you saw your dad and you both had closure 🌹
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
@Coralmist Yeah, if chemo was a walk in the park, it would be Jurrassic Park. If the options are "a few weeks longer, but in constain pain" or "going on ones own terms" it pretty much speaks for itself.

If we're talking several months or years extra thanks to chemo, that's another matter.

But at the end of the day, it's the patients choice.
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
@TheRealBarbossa Thank you so much for sharing.

@Coralmist This is SW at its best as you share which encourages others to as well. 🙂
TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T
@FreddieUK It's why I'm here. To share my experiences relevant to other peoples struggles, hoping to help one way or another.