I only had one first date ruined but it wasn't WHAT the person said, it was that they could talk for 60 seconds straight without breathing. A "yes or no" question could turn into an entire speech

I was thinking,


BTW if you ever encounter such a person, NEVER say, "Can you tell me the long version of that story?"

What is the point to attempt to ruin it? Just say you’re sorry and need to leave. It’ll be ruined anyway but no bad words said and no feelings hurt.

I love you

Can't stay long. I've an appointment at the STD clinic.

Marry me

Let me call my wife to let her know where i am

I have to wash my hair, bye.. .

Just take this oath before we start any sort of relationship.

is your mom single right now ?

I'm pregnant

Sex on first date is chargeable 😃

"You don't actually want to have the vote, do you?".

I'm not sure... but last night... I think I got your sister pregnant

Are those real?

Simple, start talking about your ex

Do you stink

So, what do you bring to the table?

Did we f yet?

Trump or Biden.

I play Magic The Gathering

Who cares? Could be anything. Let her go. Bye bye.

Go to restroom and leave.

"Your grandma is so hot!"

"I'm hoping you're as good in bed as your Dad"

Is your name treasure..... because you look like you have just been dug up..

“Smell this washcloth for me.”

Turn up, one look at me and they will leave

Did you photoshop your pictures?😷

"Hang on, I have to make sure we're not within a thousand feet of a school here."

Do you mind if I smoke this in your car?

Spill something on them

are you pregnant or just chubby?

I want 3 kids before I turn 35 and I've decided that you are it!

What stinks, is that you? What are you wearing, the stink of desperation cologne?