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Dating post divorce

It’s a scary thought for me as I begin to think about my future after my divorce is finalized. Having been with the same guy since I was 17 makes it all the more intimidating for me. I know I’ll find myself through it all and learn more about myself but I hope I am not being too unrealistic in my expectations and what I hope to find.

Just a completely random thought.
It can be just as exciting as it is scary. You have the opportunity to write a new chapter and to see how life can be from a fresh perspective and with someone who brings new things to the table. Change is never a bad thing if you see it as opportunity.
FLAme42 · 41-45, F
@FishBotThing definitely a much better way of looking at it!
LeotardWearer · 56-60, M
I bet a lot of people in a similar position to yourself - and in a positive way. You now have more experience and a better idea of what is good and bad in a partner - what to look for and what to walk away from (fast). All good stuff.

I found my life partner at about your age and our individual past experiences told us this was right.
Convivial · 26-30, F
Just think what you have to discover yet...
in10RjFox · M
It's a new beginning and you are totally blank. No clue of what's ahead with the mind just not settling anywhere. Whether to hide in life or be somewhere or everywhere.

To find someone who you need, you will answer I don't need anyone..

To find someone who needs you? What if he pretends to need me ?

Some suggestions move ahead are

Whether you want another marriage or wish to just have a companion

Don't hope to find any in particular but just float to see what destiny unfolds for you.

Don't use unnecessary terms of endearment or be extra nice to people.

It's all like the day you lost your virginity.. its scary no more after.

Take precautions but don't quote that as a reason to turn down. How your mind thinks should not come out through your mouth.

Avoid those who want to meet at once.. gradually progress in stages. You can know a person by the way they write or express.
KatyO83 · 41-45, F
Just relax and enjoy yourself.
Teslin · M
It definitely is a scary thought, getting back into the dating scene. I rushed into a relationship after my divorce with someone I new from HS. It was comfortable. But a mistake. Take your time, date, but enjoy your "freedom" (for lack of better term). Please remember that your children come first.
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
I am so sorry you are going through this, especially since you have been with your ex since high school. It will take time but in the long run, you will experience new things and hopefully you will have a good perspective in life.
JohnnyNoir · 56-60, M
The biggest thing is not rushing back into the dating scene too soon. Post divorce will teach you a lot of things about yourself. Get comfortable with who you are now, hopefully things will fall into place when you're ready
Spumoni · 46-50, M
I was very nervous. Felt like I was doing something wrong after 23 years of marriage. I still have moments of awkwardness but I feel great.
FLAme42 · 41-45, F
@Spumoni I can very much see this being the case for me
Spumoni · 46-50, M
@FLAme42 It's a new chapter.
Northwest · M
It will get easier. Remember not to make any long term decisions, until you've had a couple of post-divorce years under your belt. And some therapy...
Good luck! Dating is very different now. Give yourself a break from a commitment and explore yourself.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
I've never had to go through that, but I have to imagine it can be like launching into new experiences without the weight and baggage that weighed you down for the past XX years. Like you are free from what made you feel constrained and/or unhappy.

Kind of like the end of the school year, and the last bell rings and you are free for the summer. Even if you don't know yet how you will spend the summer, there is excitement in just knowing you have the freedom to explore.
Huckleberry42 · 41-45, M
You will have up's and downs.

You will adapt and bounceback.
But yes it's a transition.
Hang in there
Ontheroad · M
Just take it slow and get to know yourself... the new you, as it were. I went through it in my early 50s and it was a confusing but fun time where I met lots of people, dated, and kept my expectations more as "we'll see" rather than a list of high expectations.

Do know what you want and don't want, but don't red flag too much or you'll end up disappointed and frustrated. Enjoy being single and take the time to get to know yourself.
As I consider divorce I find posts about "dating" post divorce the least of my concern. I'm not looking for an out just to find someone else. I want out so I don't have to deal with others for quite awhile, then again I was essentially single for the first 38 years of my life minus maybe a year of total relationship time pre marriage
lost213 · 46-50, M
Well I hope it works out for ya.
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
With support of others, friends, even new friends now, family, and your will to move forward, you will get through this and move on...and be happier then ever 🙂
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
Was 32 when I was divorced was different when I started dating again dont think I could used enough deodorant lol
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Justlookin · 51-55, M
You get up experience all the “firsts” again! Exciting!
Ranman · 51-55, M
Yes, scary out there. I don’t know where to start myself.
riseofthemachine · 41-45, M
You have a lot of wisdom for a person that's getting divorced
Havesomefun2 · 56-60, M
Just enjoy your life and live it the best way you can
zonavar68 · 51-55, M
Be at peace with yourself as that's the first step.
OldBrit · 61-69, M
Hope it goes well and enjoy it.
Bang5luts · M
Try not to get your hopes to high but there a lot of single people out there. I truly hope you find a good one
FLAme42 · 41-45, F
@Bang5luts thank you!
Bang5luts · M
@FLAme42 you're welcome
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