welp, i already spotted a lone yellow lady slipper orchid growing in the meadow just behind the property here so no florist bouquets are gunna be impressing me for the time being...and really, surprise finger up the butt aint dat much of a surprise when it's the only other option listed.
...tho we could just scratch & blow wind at each other's taints for, y'know, demurity's sake or w/e....