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Do you think you'll ever love again as deeply as your first?

Because y'know how your guard goes up afterwards & you never fully allow yourself to be that vulnerable again.

Or maybe you simply lose that "the one you love can do no wrong" type of endearment. Because anybody can do wrong, it's just facts. So you look at everybody with that thought like "so what wrongs are [i]you[/i] into" 馃

Like I could see myself loving again but I don't really see myself giving anybody my whole self again. I'm all mine from now on.
caccoon31-35
It's good to care about yourself first.

I've found as I get older, I'm learning more about what love is, what is fair, how to draw boundaries etc.

I don't love as freely and easily, but when I do start to feel it, it's just as intense, or even moreso than the first
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@caccoon that's a good way to look at it. I wish it came that naturally to me lol. I feel like I keep myself at a distance on purpose or something & I don't let myself have real feelings anymore.

It's a wild game out here
caccoon31-35
@ChiefRunsWith40oz I understand, I'm kind of the same. It's hard for me to open up to people now, I'm pretty dismissive of love, or maybe scared of it.

Just do what's best for you for now 馃槉 it's a long life and we grow and change at our own pace
To love again....differently but still deeply.
When you limit love, you limit the possibilities.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@BreezeyBree I like that 馃 I'ma keep it in that memory storage place
@ChiefRunsWith40oz Good. I hope you remember it when love seems hard to take and give.
Pinkstarburst51-55, F
When I finally, truly loved, I realized my first wasn鈥檛 love at all.
InHeavenF
Same@Pinkstarburst I really truly loved my 鈥渢hird鈥 love. Then I realized that first and second were not or some kind of a lesser love or what the heck. Third is stronger than first and second combined 馃馃馃馃槃馃し鈥嶁檧锔忦煠封嶁檧锔
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Pinkstarburst I've realized that before too.. kinda makes me wonder if that just happens over & over
nightjourney31-35, F
I'll admit i wasted my enery trying to love my first but he gave me no attentiom watsoever. It was tireing trying to contimlate on what he is doing 24/7 a day. It was lomg distance so ya. And like i seen red flags from beginning for instance i said if he wants ro love me..he will reply wen i take a pic of my burnt arms. And if he doesn't reply soon means he ya just a user. I did. He looked at the message on watsapp but he didn't reply until qfter like a week went by. My mother wen i told her while i was waiting. She yelled at me in why i did that and dq da da. But my gut feelings told me to do that qnd i did and it was right. But obviously qfter she yelled at me ome of the things i had to gulp my feelings in and lie to myself
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@nightjourney I don't trust long distance relationships because I'd never know what they were doing & honestly I just can't be with somebody I can't see personally. Sounds like that dude wasn't even making the time for you though. You deserve better than that
nightjourney31-35, F
@ChiefRunsWith40oz nope was "sleeping" everytime i called his fricken parents.
th3r0n36-40, M
I wouldn鈥檛 have guessed it, but the young woman I鈥檝e been friends with for five years and am now trying to marry means more to me than a woman ever did, I love her in a way I never loved anyone
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@th3r0n that's dope though I'm glad it all worked out 馃憣 it's when you don't even expect it sometimes I guess
th3r0n36-40, M
@ChiefRunsWith40oz only God knows, I鈥檒l say it worked out when we are married, I surely know I don鈥檛 want anyone else
SweetHeart0118-21, F
No I hope not because it always seem to end with pain, disappointment or both for me 馃槙. My guard has always been up and as soon as I put it down just a little, my heart got broke and I was disappointed at how it all turned out. So I definitely see your point and I agree with you, hopefully I can find someone who doesn鈥檛 make me regret loving them 馃槍
SweetHeart0118-21, F
@ChiefRunsWith40oz I feel the same way, it can be scary because you never know anyones true intentions. I always think everyone is gonna leave me, and I haven鈥檛 been wrong yet. But sometimes I think what if my mindset, actually manifests that happening? So I鈥檓 not sure if I should think more positive and be more open to people or always keep my guard up and let no one in. Because at the end of the day when a relationship fails, I feel so stupid and I get angry that I let my guard down, even a little just to get hurt. But if I don鈥檛 open up at all and push everyone away, I might miss my real chance at that love that I want. Again though, I鈥檓 not sure who to trust anymore 馃槓馃し馃徑鈥嶁檧锔
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@SweetHeart01 Yeah I know what you mean. I push everybody away but I don't mean to. I still want the affection though so I date, I open up, but I keep walls up & I'll walk away if it goes too far. I think most of us kinda develop our own ways of keeping certain distances to avoid catching feelings & shit.
You're right though our own walls block ourselves too 馃し
SweetHeart0118-21, F
@ChiefRunsWith40oz I do the same, and yeah I usually always keep most of myself completely private and guarded. Because it seems like people use you opening up to them to hurt you 馃し馃徑鈥嶁檧锔,
Randie61-69, T
I didn't think so and was devastated. Eventually I met my wife and married her after two years. That was 38 years ago and we are still going.

What people do not realize is that every relationship no mater if it's friends, business or lovers is a series of compromises. I you dont both compromise at times it will never work.

I am with the love of my life but we have had some trying times but have always worked it .
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Randie yeah I tend to say I don't really believe in soul mates & shit like that anymore, it's just about whoever you make shit work with. Some people can work easier together than others it just depends. Not everyone likes when I say that though 馃槀
I'm glad you found someone though
FrozenWasteland61-69, M
I have been fortunate enough to truly love three women in my life. I've loved the first one for give or take 50 years. I never claimed that "she could do no wrong": i loved her then for who she was then and i love her now for who she has become. I don't love the other two any less deeply than i loved my first love.

I'm not sure love comes in "depths". At least it doesn't seem to for me.
Elessar26-30, M
It's difficult to answer this. I may be cynical, but I I would be able to love just as deeply. The problem is practical, when you're in your fifth year in a row without even just dating.
exexec61-69, C
Since I married my first real love, I haven't had to deal with another one. I can see how that might be a problem.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@exexec do you wanna deal with another one or nah?
exexec61-69, C
@ChiefRunsWith40oz I'll stick with the one I have.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@exexec oh I misread your original comment lol
MorbidCynic22-25, F
I know I can because I have. I have easily dampened emotions.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@MorbidCynic it just takes the right person maybe? It's a good thing to not fall too easily imo 馃憣
xzLucaszx16-17, M
I鈥檝e never been in love don鈥檛 plan to be
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@xzLucaszx yeah you can't really plan something like that. It just happens & it's some crazy shit lemme tell ya
exotic22-25, F
Yeah...rip Anton

(we're still kind of friends)
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@exotic rip Anton 馃檹 he will be missed.. well.. maybe 馃し idk
Loving is being vulnerable.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Spoiledbrat maybe that's why it gets harder to do
Rhode5756-60, M
No never as I never want to be hurt like that again .
AzlottoM
Yes. And did.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@Azlotto did? or still do?
AzlottoM
@ChiefRunsWith40oz Did. She hurt me in so many ways.
I totally understand this.
Jenny123451-55, F
LostOrchidF
Hell no 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
tacobell26-30, M
Naw bruh, sucks because you want to give your love everything but then you realize they can leave at anytime for whatever stupid reason. I'm not even getting married with these divorce laws.
This message was deleted.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@InHeaven I hear about people who have never loved anyone as much as that first time, but there's also people who find love even better. I just wonder which one I'll turn out to be. So far I haven't seen that type of love in anybody else. I'm not sure how much of that is because of me pushing it away but I'm told I have a bad habit of doing that
InHeavenF
@ChiefRunsWith40oz I don鈥檛 understand what it is like to never have loved anyone.... Poor things 馃馃馃
This message was deleted by its author.
ChiefRunsWith40oz22-25
@QueenOfQuirk I feel that 馃槄

 
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