I had an MRI. Listening to classical music in my temporary coffin surrounded by electronic banging for 45 minutes, I imagined bows bouncing along strings, women in beautiful dresses being twirled around by gentlemen.
All day with too much thought.
It's a New Moon. I wish for a healthier planet.
I shed my clothes for darkness to touch me. It embraces me with serenity. As much as I love the sun, he exposes me. Darkness is gentle and silk across my skin and bones. It wraps me but my shape emerges. Me. The terrifying woman I'm growing to love more. Wildly passionately. There's no going back.
I burn a candle for my elder tonight. I miss her dearly. I miss her relentless joy and complete lack of bitterness.
I probably don't deserve the good I have and it's time to stop wasting my life on people who don't matter and do something that does. Life is brief. A few cycles and it's over for us. No more wasting.
You deserve good, as all people with a pure heart do. I burned two candles tonight; one for clarity and the other to stay grounded. No more deceptions, connections based on honesty.
