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My Alcohol Addiction

[b]I don't drink every day.[/b]

I typically drink 4 to 5 beers, when I do drink. These are each 1.15 liters, and contain 4.7 percent alcohol each. There is 460 calories in each beer.

I tried switching to stronger alcohol, but bottomed a liter of vodka, and still craved more, one evening.

This last month's time, I've been doing well, only drinknig about once a week. I would typically drink 2 to 3 times a week in the past.

The way I drink does not sound like the way of a typical alcoholic, but it is very dangerous I believe, and I do lack control. I have gotten chronic pancreatitis, along with other physical health issues, due to my poor drinking habits over time. I can not stop drinking once I start.

I started drinking when I was 13 years old, and started drinking by myself when I was 18 years old (and moved out of my parents place, since I became an adult).

In the beginning, I didn't drink much in one evening, but the amount grew over time, and I couldn't keep a job, mainly due to hangovers, even though I got many offers. I ended up in the hospital multiple times, and got injected with B-vitamins.

I have astmatic bronchitis, and can't control how much I smoke during drinking, no matter how hard I try. The drinking makes my lifestyle more docile due to constant hangovers, and I end up smoking too much whilst sitting in front of a computer screen.

You may not realize it, but one can have a serious addiction on something as "soft" as beer. You may not realize it, but often when I am writing here, and I seem clear, I am heavily under the influence of alcohol, and my words do not portray my true self at all.
windinhishair · 61-69, M
Many alcoholics drink beer as their drink of choice. My father was one of them. It took him a long time to admit he was an alcoholic. He was able to stop, with help, and hasn't had a drink now in over 40 years. You can tell. You've already taken the first step--admitting there is a problem. Good luck.
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Entwistle · 51-55, M
Just make the decision not to drink and stick to it. Don't make it a difficult thing to do. Do it and forget about it.
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GrinNude · 56-60, C
[b][/b][@589276,Entwistle] [@330903,Fable] One is too many. A thousand never enough. NA
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GrinNude · 56-60, C
In Buddhism there are 5 precepts which are somewhat similar to our 10 commandments. Except, instead of calling them sins, they refer to these behaviors as obstacles to joy. The use of intoxicants is one of these obstacles to joy. Ernie
BackyardShaman · 61-69, M
You’re more a binge drinker, and you can stop doing it. Honestly you’re not enjoying it, and if you stop you’ll feel much better.
Fable · 26-30, F
[@1062793,BackyardShaman] Yes, that's what it's called I believe. All that is true. :)
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windinhishair · 61-69, M
[@330903,Fable] Actually, it isn't difficult for me to talk about at all. I've seen what alcoholism can do to someone, and as a result, I do not drink myself now, though I have no problem with others doing so. I'm totally at peace with it or I wouldn't have brought it up.

Striving for something that has been elusive is a powerful motivator. Perhaps that will work for you. I hope so.
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I hope you beat it, it can be a hard road if it goes too far.
Fable · 26-30, F
[@8093,Subsumedpat] Yes, that is right. I really feel exhausted by it though. It's hard for the body and for the mind, and I'm becoming older, caring more for myself than I did when I was young. As of right now, I am sober, and thinking perhaps I really had enough at this point.
[@330903,Fable] I hope so.
Fable · 26-30, F
[@8093,Subsumedpat] Thanks :)
GrinNude · 56-60, C
GrinNude · 56-60, C
[@330903,Fable] NA? Alcohol is a drug.
Fable · 26-30, F
[@1201165,ElwoodBlues] The AA meetings which I went to in the past, already left whatever religion or "higher power" up for the induvidual to determine. In my days, I still found that super creepy, though. I don't want to be relient on a group instead of alcohol. I just want to find true peace. I'm really for your father though.
[@330903,Fable] Thanks. My father lived to a ripe old age and passed away several years ago after about 35 years dry (preceded by 10 or 15 problem drinking). I wish I could ask him how long he went to meetings and how he phased them out of his life. Because he did after a few years. Like I say, I wish I could report to you the details.
MrBrownstone · 41-45, M
Atleast you own up to it.
Only you can decide if you want to live or die. Chronic pancreatitis is life threatening. I knew someone who had it and his doctor told him quit alcohol or die. It's your life, make your choice.
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Fable · 26-30, F
[@619287,Jwalker] One can't actually die from chronic pancreatitis.
Khenpal1 · M
Its good to have a break. At least have one day where you don't drink.

 
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