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My Alcohol Addiction

[b]I don't drink every day.[/b]

I typically drink 4 to 5 beers, when I do drink. These are each 1.15 liters, and contain 4.7 percent alcohol each. There is 460 calories in each beer.

I tried switching to stronger alcohol, but bottomed a liter of vodka, and still craved more, one evening.

This last month's time, I've been doing well, only drinknig about once a week. I would typically drink 2 to 3 times a week in the past.

The way I drink does not sound like the way of a typical alcoholic, but it is very dangerous I believe, and I do lack control. I have gotten chronic pancreatitis, along with other physical health issues, due to my poor drinking habits over time. I can not stop drinking once I start.

I started drinking when I was 13 years old, and started drinking by myself when I was 18 years old (and moved out of my parents place, since I became an adult).

In the beginning, I didn't drink much in one evening, but the amount grew over time, and I couldn't keep a job, mainly due to hangovers, even though I got many offers. I ended up in the hospital multiple times, and got injected with B-vitamins.

I have astmatic bronchitis, and can't control how much I smoke during drinking, no matter how hard I try. The drinking makes my lifestyle more docile due to constant hangovers, and I end up smoking too much whilst sitting in front of a computer screen.

You may not realize it, but one can have a serious addiction on something as "soft" as beer. You may not realize it, but often when I am writing here, and I seem clear, I am heavily under the influence of alcohol, and my words do not portray my true self at all.
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I hope you beat it, it can be a hard road if it goes too far.
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat It's been more than 10 years, I am pretty much done with it. I just wrote this to clear things up, as SW is pretty much a website I only used a lot when drinking.
@Sheer I started here when I was on EP and it is like that for a lot of people I think, they are drawn to it when dealing with a problem or condition.
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat Well, a lot of stuff happened around the time when I became an adult and moved away from home. That's when I began drinking, and also going on the internet. The drinking had nothing to do with the internet directly, it was just the time in my life.
@Sheer I never did much of it but I have seen people drink till they die. They just won't quit even after they trashed their liver which takes a long time
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat Yeah, it's sad. I personally do want to quit. :)
@Sheer I know it is very very hard after a point.
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat I would typically fail after a month or so of staying sober, because I start craving it like nothing else. An argument goes off between my logical brain, and another voice telling me "it's fine to do it sometimes" ect. If I was always completely capable of realizing that there's no middle-way, then I would probably never drink again.
@Sheer And when you give in it only takes one to get you going again I bet.
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat Yes, that is right. I really feel exhausted by it though. It's hard for the body and for the mind, and I'm becoming older, caring more for myself than I did when I was young. As of right now, I am sober, and thinking perhaps I really had enough at this point.
@Sheer I hope so.
Sheer · F
@Subsumedpat Thanks :)