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My Alcohol Addiction

[b]I don't drink every day.[/b]

I typically drink 4 to 5 beers, when I do drink. These are each 1.15 liters, and contain 4.7 percent alcohol each. There is 460 calories in each beer.

I tried switching to stronger alcohol, but bottomed a liter of vodka, and still craved more, one evening.

This last month's time, I've been doing well, only drinknig about once a week. I would typically drink 2 to 3 times a week in the past.

The way I drink does not sound like the way of a typical alcoholic, but it is very dangerous I believe, and I do lack control. I have gotten chronic pancreatitis, along with other physical health issues, due to my poor drinking habits over time. I can not stop drinking once I start.

I started drinking when I was 13 years old, and started drinking by myself when I was 18 years old (and moved out of my parents place, since I became an adult).

In the beginning, I didn't drink much in one evening, but the amount grew over time, and I couldn't keep a job, mainly due to hangovers, even though I got many offers. I ended up in the hospital multiple times, and got injected with B-vitamins.

I have astmatic bronchitis, and can't control how much I smoke during drinking, no matter how hard I try. The drinking makes my lifestyle more docile due to constant hangovers, and I end up smoking too much whilst sitting in front of a computer screen.

You may not realize it, but one can have a serious addiction on something as "soft" as beer. You may not realize it, but often when I am writing here, and I seem clear, I am heavily under the influence of alcohol, and my words do not portray my true self at all.
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Sheer · F
@GrinNude I went, and I hate AA with a passion.
@Sheer Then look for other 12-step programs that aren't so religious. That's what my father did - he found a 12-step program based in a hospital. It was modeled on AA but left the "higher power" notion vague and up to each person to define. I think for my father it was the group itself that was his higher power, so no God, no praying. The 12 step method is pretty good for those who can't afford celebrity dry-out clinics.
GrinNude · 61-69, C
@Sheer NA? Alcohol is a drug.
Sheer · F
@ElwoodBlues The AA meetings which I went to in the past, already left whatever religion or "higher power" up for the induvidual to determine. In my days, I still found that super creepy, though. I don't want to be relient on a group instead of alcohol. I just want to find true peace. I'm really for your father though.
@Sheer Thanks. My father lived to a ripe old age and passed away several years ago after about 35 years dry (preceded by 10 or 15 problem drinking). I wish I could ask him how long he went to meetings and how he phased them out of his life. Because he did after a few years. Like I say, I wish I could report to you the details.