For the charge of pushing your friend into a hole…And being an overall jackass, I sentence you to ten years of listening to Don’t Do Me Like That on repeat.
This is something y’all need to know!And I mean every word of it. Hasbro Millennium Falcon will not give the A-Team a ride. No matter what, so don’t even try. However!!! Lego Millennium Falcon will. Every time.
If you encounter a mystery that you cannot solve…The Scooby Doo gang works for free, and they will have that shit solved in under 30 minutes. Highly recommended!
Trying to keep my profile views under 150, so let me break it down for you…Yes that is me in my profile pic. Yes I shoot lightning out of my hands when I am angry (long story). And yes I really am from Pangaea, even tho I could not find that option in the menu.
I dont know if I should log off and play video games…Or hang out here and seduce women? Or go on tiktok and be the superstar that I am? Or go back to sleep and dream inspirational dreams?
It is that kind of day, y’all…Had two triple shot energy drinks and they aint even touching me. Have to rely on my amazing personality to get through it, I reckon…
So Magnum P.I. and Higgens are coming hy…To take me for a ride in his famous red car. Afterwards, T.C. is giving me a helicopter tour of Gatlinburg. Then we will spend the night smoking joints, waggling our eyebrows at each other and talking about the 80s. Be jealous. Be very jealous.
If you had a Nile Monitor who was super hungry…And the only thing to feed it was your puppy, would you do it? Failure to answer will result in Mola Ram painfully ripping out your heart…and you surviving!
I like my truck!Actually, it aint my truck at all. It is dad’s. But it is mine by extension! It is really neat and can haul things!
Do any of you remember Steve Urkle’s cereal?Did any of you ever own a Dan Rather wallet? Don’t fall prey to the system!!!
Day one of the day that happened!Sup, fools? I think I will shave. It has been a month and the stubble is driving me crazy. I am pleased with my haircut but I need another one, because it grows fast.
This video brought up so many questions…Some of them I can go through life without having them answered. Maybe yall can help me with the one that must be answered tho. Just….how did the death star pinpoint that ship’s location? (1)
That time monkeys raided my taco stand…First of all, where did they come from? There is no second of all. WHERE DID THEY COME FROM????!!!!
I would like to take this time…To remind each and every one of you to not break into your advent calendar so early this year. Some of us rely on that to let us know just how close to christmas we are, and last year i thought i was 2 days away when it wasnt even december yet.... See More »
So I am not really the village idiot…Nor am I really an idiot. I just play one online. I have spray cheese! Clover Valley brand, and I am gonna put it on saltine crackers! For breakfast. Because cheap thrills.
What up, Essss Dubya!!!!How is your morning going? Anything new and exciting happening? I went out this morning and dropped 9 bucks on some name brand coffee #sorrynotsorry. Now I am powered up and ready to interact with you fine people for a little while yaaaaay!!
So I have reached the point in my life…Where getting carded for tobacco products is flattery. I am glad you think I look like I am under 21! Are you single? Nah just kidding. Is your mom single? Nah just kidding, a cougar for me would be geriatric. Sigh…
Today is thank a dimetrodon day!Without them, you would not be here! That is all, I am officially burned out and gonna return to the real world. Have a good Dimetrodon Day!
Can you sense ghosts?If so, dm me and I will give you directions to my secret lab, miles underground. I wanna see what makes your brain tick!
If you are ugly…I cannot date you, even though I am ugly too. Sorry! I just wouldnt want our children to be ugly. Does this make me shallow? Why/why not?
