Boop your cat’s nose and pet it’s fur backwards!

No way

while I'm waiting at the emergency room?

No. I wait till it’s really dry air and go outside and slide my shoes back and forth on the lawn and then gently touch the tip of my finger to a cat’s nose. Gives a little static shock. About the third time you try it they run.

If you make it through Step 1, you will never be able to complete Step 2. This is an unachievable mission.