I Have Relationship Troubles So I REALLY like my girlfriend. She's my best friend and makes me...

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I can relate. I have similar "deficiency" feelings about myself and tend to get jealous with people I most want to be with. It's a vicious cycle unfortunately that really requires a significant amount of self-discipline to moderate.

MikeSp · 56-60, M

Daniel, you are dealing with two separate issues here. GF issues and mental issues. The GF thing will resolve itself. If you two are meant to be together long-term, you will be. If not, then you two are simply one of the many partners you will meet and enjoy as you grow older. Early relationships are learning experiences that help you better manage later ones.

Statements say a lot, and here are some that are telling:
I have trouble making friends
she's better at it
I'm basically a loser
I'm extremely shy
it's hard for me to make friends
I have a very low self esteem
I hate myself a lot
why would she ever like me
I have trust issues
I'm scared one day she will just leave me
I've been dealing with depression
she's the only thing that makes me happy
I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her

Based on these statements, I encourage you to speak to a licensed mental health counselor or psychologist. If you don't know any, call 211 for a referral. All this negative self-talk is holding you back from growing, it is draining you of energy, and it's wasting your time. PM me if you want to chat.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Not when it comes to vulnerabilities, man. I am not saying don't be authentic. But, exposing your vulnerabilities and expecting congratulations, acceptance, and feelings as though nothing has changed is a textbook response that just does not play-out with real-world human dynamics. I get that you have a one-of-a-kind, best-in-the-world relationship that defies the dark side of human nature on every level... but you wouldn't have posted what you did if you were already satisfied with the textbook to which we all have access.

blindbob · 41-45

a man can be served a perfect woman on a platter and he'll find a way to screw it up. i don't understand.

SW-User

I feel you bro. I'm single now. Maybe you should talk to her about how you feel. From what I have learned through out my failed relationships., it's important to express your deepest vulnerabilities to her. Maybe she could help you with your journey and bring out the best in you. You'll be amazed how much a girl appreciates a man that talks about vulnerabilities, authenticity goes a long way. Trust me on this dude. 😀

nakedguyVII · 61-69, M

You answer will come to you with maturity. When ???
Good Luck.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I mean that human nature (even if it is attached to the nicest person on the planet) tends to exploit vulnerabilities when they become uncovered. So, it might be a hurtful statement, it might be a cruel act, it might even be an innocent and unintended betrayal of confidence. Telling someone how vulnerable we are, is not a good solution - in my opinion.

SW-User

I have Ben there and done that too dude, you'll build the courage one day, but if you really love her and want to fix it. Courage has to be gained. That's easier said than done. But she would admire you for your bravery and authenticity. Look out for this book that I am currently reading, the title itself says it all.

SW-User

@markpaul. I can agree but also disagree, from some perspectives it's agreeable, depends on the person you are interacting with as not everyone in ones life can be trusted. But if you are around people who love you, there's no bond stronger than authenticity.

SW-User

It comes from lack of confidence and fear of self expression. The problem with society is the gender stereotypes. According to society we have to "man up" and bottle our emotions. Hence why men are 4 times more likely to fall into depression and commit suicide than women.

Daniel1120 · 26-30, M

@MarkPaul what do you mean "go in for the kill whole denying they are doing so"?
@WalingLife I don't know. I don't have the courage. No one knows anything about how I feel about myself and what I've been going through. I'm too scared of being seen as a freak.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Boy, I don't know. People don't generally appreciate vulnerabilities... they usually will "go in for the kill" while denying they are doing so.