I Have Relationship Troubles

So I REALLY like my girlfriend. She's my best friend and makes me very happy. But deep down inside a part of me hates her very much. She's just better than me in every way. She's better looking, smarter, is better socially and has a ton of friends whereas I have 2 friends and don't even ever hang out with them. I also have trouble making friends. Just anything you could think of she's better at it. I don't think she really realizes it but I'm basically a loser when it comes to being social. I'm extremely shy and it's hard for me to make friends. I have a very low self esteem and hate myself a lot. If I hate myself then why would she ever like me? I have trust issues because of that topic and I can't completely trust her and I'm scared one day she will just leave me because there are guys out there who are a hell of a lot better than me. I've been dealing with depression for years on my own and she's the only thing that makes me happy so I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her. She knows nothing about any of this because I'm too scared to tell her even though she could help me with being more social. I don't know what to do! I want to not feel this hatred towards her but I can't help it! 😭