I Am Comfortable With My Sexuality
[center][big]So why can't you be?[/big][/center]
Okay so I've been asked the same question in several different ways over the last couple months since I began talking about my boyfriend ...
[i][b]"I thought you were a lesbian?"[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Big sigh*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]![]()
[/center][/quote]
First, I never said that. True, I spent the better part of seven years on EP & SW talking about my feelings toward girls and about several girls in particular and even about one who I thought would be the love of my life. And I've been pretty vocal about my bullshit detector and how testosterone-induced displays of machismo really turn me off. So I get where some of you would think I was *only* into girls.
But that has never been the case. In fact, any time anyone would use the lesbian label on me, I would remind him/her that I’ve never claimed that title.
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]“Oh, so you’re bisexual then?”[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Bigger sigh*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]![]()
🙄[/center][/quote]
Well … you see … idk, maybe I guess? My difficulty with the whole bisexual label has really to do with the assumptions that most people, gay & straight, make about bisexuals.
First, I tried the whole casual, non-committal thing. Sure, Saturday nights were fun, but Sunday mornings always felt empty. My soul was searching for a connection that doesn’t happen without the commitment. Second, I am very much a monogamous person. I tried the whole dating two people at once thing and it did not work at all for me. Both of them were fine with the non-exclusive nature of our relationships, but I wasn’t. I needed more. Next, if I concede to the bisexual label and tell you that I am dating a guy exclusively, then most of you will wonder how I will deal with not having boobs in my life anymore (other than mine, of course). But it’s not like that.
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]Here, let me try to explain … [/b][/i]
To me, the physicality of a person, his or her reproductive organs, have very little to do with my attraction to them (or lack thereof). I can look at the pics posted on here by @Ambroseguy80 or @AnneHoney and say, yes, this girl is cute or, yeah, that guy is hot … but none of those pics actually turn me on. In fact, pics in general do nothing for me (sorry guys, your dick pics remind me of nothing more than high school biology class – and I didn’t like that class much). Porn videos do little more. At most, they are a curiosity to me. If there isn’t a really good plot that is well laid out before the characters get naked (and how often does *that* happen in porn), then the sex is basically clinical – get me some caffeine, quick!
So what does do it? If it’s not body parts, then what has been the common theme connecting the major relationships of my life? Well, it has to do with that biggest sex organ or them all: the brain.
[quote][center]![]()
[/center][/quote]
Every single person in my life who has succeeded in arousing my body at all (this is a very short list ... many have tried, most have failed), has first connected with my brain. Be interesting, have a life of purpose and intent, have things to talk about, and above all, be positive. Do these things and my brain wants more of you. And if my brain wants more of you, believe me that my body comes attached. Make sense?
So then a few years ago, people began tossing a new label in my direction ...
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]“Oh, so you’re sapiosexual then?”[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Biggest sigh yet*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]![]()
[/center][/quote]
"Regardless of conventional attractiveness"? Hmm ... I'm being honest here, right? Okay, no reason to stop now.
Of course I have a "type" and yes, it starts with an interesting intellect, but it doesn't stop there. I put a lot of time and effort into fitness. I think these bodies that we've been given are an incredible gift and if yours spends most of the day on the couch, we won't ever connect. In saying that, I am NOT seeking to shame anyone. There is someone for everyone (I truly believe this) and my way is not necessarily the right way. It is simply my way. And to me, in a partner, fitness matters.
But I said fitness, not fanatical. If you spend more hours in the gym than you do pursuing your life of purpose and intent, then we will have little to talk about. Life is about balance after all.
Basically, if you need to label me, go right ahead, but please don't ask me to confirm because I won't. I'm just me. I'm comfortable being me and I don't feel the need to fit into any neat little boxes just to conform to the latest label. :)
[sep][sep][sep]
[b]About me: [/b]https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info
Okay so I've been asked the same question in several different ways over the last couple months since I began talking about my boyfriend ...
[i][b]"I thought you were a lesbian?"[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Big sigh*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]
[/center][/quote]First, I never said that. True, I spent the better part of seven years on EP & SW talking about my feelings toward girls and about several girls in particular and even about one who I thought would be the love of my life. And I've been pretty vocal about my bullshit detector and how testosterone-induced displays of machismo really turn me off. So I get where some of you would think I was *only* into girls.
But that has never been the case. In fact, any time anyone would use the lesbian label on me, I would remind him/her that I’ve never claimed that title.
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]“Oh, so you’re bisexual then?”[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Bigger sigh*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]
🙄[/center][/quote]Well … you see … idk, maybe I guess? My difficulty with the whole bisexual label has really to do with the assumptions that most people, gay & straight, make about bisexuals.
First, I tried the whole casual, non-committal thing. Sure, Saturday nights were fun, but Sunday mornings always felt empty. My soul was searching for a connection that doesn’t happen without the commitment. Second, I am very much a monogamous person. I tried the whole dating two people at once thing and it did not work at all for me. Both of them were fine with the non-exclusive nature of our relationships, but I wasn’t. I needed more. Next, if I concede to the bisexual label and tell you that I am dating a guy exclusively, then most of you will wonder how I will deal with not having boobs in my life anymore (other than mine, of course). But it’s not like that.
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]Here, let me try to explain … [/b][/i]
To me, the physicality of a person, his or her reproductive organs, have very little to do with my attraction to them (or lack thereof). I can look at the pics posted on here by @Ambroseguy80 or @AnneHoney and say, yes, this girl is cute or, yeah, that guy is hot … but none of those pics actually turn me on. In fact, pics in general do nothing for me (sorry guys, your dick pics remind me of nothing more than high school biology class – and I didn’t like that class much). Porn videos do little more. At most, they are a curiosity to me. If there isn’t a really good plot that is well laid out before the characters get naked (and how often does *that* happen in porn), then the sex is basically clinical – get me some caffeine, quick!
So what does do it? If it’s not body parts, then what has been the common theme connecting the major relationships of my life? Well, it has to do with that biggest sex organ or them all: the brain.
[quote][center]
[/center][/quote]Every single person in my life who has succeeded in arousing my body at all (this is a very short list ... many have tried, most have failed), has first connected with my brain. Be interesting, have a life of purpose and intent, have things to talk about, and above all, be positive. Do these things and my brain wants more of you. And if my brain wants more of you, believe me that my body comes attached. Make sense?
So then a few years ago, people began tossing a new label in my direction ...
[sep][sep][sep]
[i][b]“Oh, so you’re sapiosexual then?”[/b][/i]
[i][b][c=#BF0080]*Biggest sigh yet*[/c][/b][/i]
[quote][center]
[/center][/quote]"Regardless of conventional attractiveness"? Hmm ... I'm being honest here, right? Okay, no reason to stop now.
Of course I have a "type" and yes, it starts with an interesting intellect, but it doesn't stop there. I put a lot of time and effort into fitness. I think these bodies that we've been given are an incredible gift and if yours spends most of the day on the couch, we won't ever connect. In saying that, I am NOT seeking to shame anyone. There is someone for everyone (I truly believe this) and my way is not necessarily the right way. It is simply my way. And to me, in a partner, fitness matters.
But I said fitness, not fanatical. If you spend more hours in the gym than you do pursuing your life of purpose and intent, then we will have little to talk about. Life is about balance after all.
Basically, if you need to label me, go right ahead, but please don't ask me to confirm because I won't. I'm just me. I'm comfortable being me and I don't feel the need to fit into any neat little boxes just to conform to the latest label. :)
[sep][sep][sep]
[b]About me: [/b]https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info
26-30, F
