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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

I have just the "bestest friend" in the whole world. Now that she's engaged, she doesn't seem to care. I needed her over here to help hook up my tv and internet (had to take everything apart because of having to box it up for bed bugs). I didn't think I was asking for much, and I even texted her earlier saying to call before she comes over. Thanks. Now I think my router blew, I've already used 2G of my 5G limit, and the month doesn't end until the 13th. I knew I would lose her. She's walking into a ready-made family. She has other people now. She doesn't need me. Nobody needs me. Why bother?

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

It is a big mistake for brides to do this, but it happens all the time. She will need you again. She just hasn't figured it out yet. She believes she is about to have a magic wand waved over her life and will never ever need anyone but her new husband and his world. Your best bet is to back off and be patient. Weddings have a way of causing a sort of temporary bridal madness. Concentrate on getting her a thoughtful wedding present. Assume you are still friends and she'll be in touch when she is ready.

dominoesgirl · 36-40, F

@greenmountaingal She isn't even having a wedding. It will be during or right after church on a Sunday morning. That's all she wants. I was perfectly fine with planning it for her (she said that she was fine with me and her other friend planning it and her just showing up). I don't know. I mean, I know our relationship will be different, but it almost feels like I'm on the backburner.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@dominoesgirl Only for now. If she doesn't want a wedding, don't fuss. It will be easier for all of you. Most of the time, friendships will revive after a hiatus as she gets used to her new life.

dominoesgirl · 36-40, F

@greenmountaingal I hope you're right. My birthday is this weekend, and I don't know if we're going to even do anything. We usually go out to dinner or something.

Fernie · F

is this a serious post?

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dominoesgirl · 36-40, F

@Fernie I'm in counseling now. We just finished working through my anger issues that were detrimentally affecting my job, and now we're about to start working on the social issues I have. I never said that any of this was her fault or her problem. I know it's not. What other choice do I have but to accept my diagnosis and work with it? I'm doing the best I can, but right now I'm having a hard time.

Fernie · F

@dominoesgirl Good for you!!! Yes, it is hard work and I am glad you are doing the work to improve the quality of your life. I know you didn't actually use the words "it's her fault" but you wrote that she is not there for you and all your needs you described and it upsets you and makes you feel abandoned...that's sort of the same thing...like she's done something wrong to you. Anyway, work hard and be as honest as you can be with your therapist and it will definitely get better and better

dominoesgirl · 36-40, F

@Fernie It has taken everything in me not to cut these last few nights, partly due to that. Then, I tell her that there is a guy at work that I MIGHT be getting interested in. He has a son. I told her that last part as well, and she said that she doesn't think my going into a ready-made family like she's doing is such a good idea. Really? I'm 30. The likelihood of a guy NOT having kids is slim to none. I guess I'm not good enough to be a parent? I haven't told her how I've been feeling, and I probably won't, only because I don't want to strain our friendship any more than I feel it has been lately, and I don't want her to feel bad.

Rusham · M

It's sad that this happens, but I does and I feel it affects women more than men for some reason.

SW-User

it's like a loss
I understand

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